“Do you remember studying about people that roamed around, not settling in one place because they were constantly in search of food and stuff like that? Nomads?”
“Yes mom, what about them?”
“We’ve become them, haven’t we? Just look at us”
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So this story of mine, is about how my family and I have been all over the place. An account of all the houses we’ve been in and how the situation was
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House 1 :
I was in the 10th grade, when my family hit absolute rock bottom. My father was here in India and my mom, younger brother and I were back in U.A.E. As we had no money whatsoever, we couldn’t pay rent so we had to leave the only house I ever knew. It was so sudden, I felt like my entire world crashed. I didn’t even know where we were gonna go
I had come back from school when my mother and her elder brother tell me we were to immediately go to this flat. We went there and I saw all my stuff there. Kind of wish I could have said a proper goodbye to my room atleast, and not a hurried one
So the house we were in now, was a sharing flat. The people who lived there were an uncle and his son, who rented out their other room to us. They were really nice people, and as much as I missed my place, I was okay
Thankful, that atleast we had a good place to stay. A decent place with all facilities and a good neighbourhood
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House 2 :
It was July. The people we were sharing the flat with told us to vacate the flat all of a sudden. We didn’t know where to go. We were just in shock
Where in the world were we supposed to stay? How could we find a place in two days??
We were out of our heads when the watchman of the building told us there was this ground floor apartment. Without thinking anything, we just went for it. It was backpacking time again
So this ground floor room was the creepiest I have ever seen. There was no place to keep any stuff. I don’t even remember how it looked! It was so dark, and had no proper lighting
Thank God we didn’t stay there for long I would have lost my shit I swear
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House 3 :
The morning after the move into creepy ground floor apartment, the watchman says we actually aren’t allowed to stay there. And I just remember going, “Great, so we are already all worked up about our situation and now this happens?”
My mother was about to cry at that time. How were we supposed to find a flat in an hour?
Felt like a horrible survival reality show
The watchman then tells us there was this flat we could rent out for 10 days. Until the family moved back in. We immediately said yes because we needed time to figure out where to move next
We moved into this apartment, and didn’t bother unpacking our stuff because atleast this time we knew beforehand that this was a temporary solution
The house was really nice. My mother and I talked about how if everything was okay we would also be staying in such a nice place. My brother was really small so all he bothered about were his cartoons
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House 4 :
It was now August. We shifted to a flat in a badly lit neighbourhood. The place was a bit sketchy but the building was okay. We lived on the first floor and the flat had no ventilation whatsoever
There were windows, the long sliding ones but because it wasn’t used in a long time, they wouldn’t budge. The window itself was covered with this off red color paper due to which sunlight never hit the room. We used to switch the lights on 24×7 or else it would be really dark. Differentiating between night and day was hard
School had resumed and honestly, I was not in the best state of mind. Seeing all of this unfold right infront of your eyes takes a toll on you. And on top of that having school work didn’t make it easy
I had to pretend like I was okay, because I didn’t want anyone to worry. I also knew I could not talk about it. What was I even supposed to say? From where was I supposed to begin?
It was one thing, to learn I had to leave the country, it was another to see everything just break down. The life I had known, everything shattered to pieces. And the future remained so uncertain
It was only in this house that I sort of envied my brother, because he didn’t understand anything going on. All I wanted was to stop understanding and being in so much chaos. My brain was unable to function
I don’t even remember how I studied for my 10th boards in this house. Conditions were just so off at that point. But that house was one of the places that made me really strong on the inside. It taught me how to brave through some of the worst conditions
I went through my first gap year in that house. The unexpected one. It was a case of, “We’ll be leaving for India in the next month” for a lot of months. And then we did the actual move
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House 5 :
On reaching India, I stayed in a relative’s place along with my family. The experience was definitely something. New country, new place, new me and better situation now I hoped
Oh how I was wrong
We kept waiting for things to get better. But with schools who once agreed to take us in, refusing at the last moment, to dad not being able to get the finances in order, we just went downhill. And it was in this house that I started getting the case of the anxiety
I started to feel really overwhelmed with everything going on. It wasn’t easy. Not at all. My mother would come up to me and share everything, all that she felt with me. And I just kept feeling burdened more and more
I wanted to scream. And I did that. But internally. Kept feeling like I wasn’t allowed to. Had these awful thoughts always roaming in my head. All I wanted was to be invisble
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House 6 :
My father was in Kolkata at the time, working on a project that would get us back on track. The relative wanted to shift so we went to our place in Karnataka and stayed there for 7 months I think, with my grandparents and aunt’s family
My time in this house is another story in itself. I can forget any house but I can’t ever forget the time I spent here
It was in this house that I also disappeared from the internet. As much as I would like to blame the fact that I didn’t have a computer that’s why I abruptly took a leave of absence, deep down I know that I would have done it
I was at one of the lowest points in my life. Life was crumbling on one end, and on the other the incessant taunts from passers by and relatives made me feel nauseated. Talking to people and pretending I was okay and just a bit off was something I could not do
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House 7 :
Once dad was done with his project we came back to Mumbai. We lived in this horrible and crowded area but the colony and people were okay. We were to live here until a proper arrangement for my brother’s schooling was done
We used to face a lot of issues with water. And we lived on the 3rd floor. There was no lift. So we had to go till the ground floor and bring water up at times. Not an experience I’ll forget
I distracted my mind with tv shows and movies. We also had a really nice neighbour. So days would be spent like that. Don’t really remember how this house looked though
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House 8 :
Once everything was sorted, we shifted here. We were doing much better now. Mom even started earning here, and that helped our case
Also the fact that somehow I finished my 12th and was actually gonna start undergrad school was surreal. I remember crying on the day I got my 12th result because I couldn’t believe I did it. That I survived through everything and finished school
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House 9 :
This is my current place which is literally next door to House 8. Shifted because we liked the flat and also the agent was giving us some trouble. This house saw us do so much better than we expected
Than I expected myself to do
I have good memories in this place. Of course there have been my ups and downs but I expect nothing else from my life now
This is far better than any of the other houses
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And that marks the end of this detailed report on all the houses I’ve lived in. It really feels like I’ve lived different lives in different houses
It’s not easy, to be in and out of houses so much. Especially when you’re going through so much you can’t even talk about. But I’ve always been proud of myself, for being able to handle it and not letting it break me, even when it could