Its been a while since I’ve posted something serious. Serious in my mind at least. So today I’m gonna post about a topic that I’ve always wondered about.
Everyone is always thinking who cares about them or who will care about them. There’s not a single soul who wouldn’t want at least one person to genuinely care about them. But I find it weird when one expects someone to care about them, but the person doesn’t care about them in return.
Confused? Me too.
Believe it or not, we live in a world full of expectations. Reality is something we refuse to come back to and as a result we keep flying to expectations that we know we can’t expect to be true. I also have expectations – from family, friends and life. But I know that I need to keep them realistic. I can’t expect something from someone, when I know I can’t get it. The same way goes for the term ‘care’.
Expecting genuine care and concern from someone is easy, but caring for someone deeply is tough. I know so many people who constantly crib about no one caring for them but do they care for anyone in the manner they want back? The answer is mostly no. So if you can’t care for anyone then how possibly could you expect it in return?
The funny thing is that mostly there will be someone caring for them, but its neglected which obviously means that the care they receive isn’t appreciated. And then they go around telling that no one cares about them. Isn’t that weird? Someone cares about them so deeply but they don’t seem to notice it which in turn means that the person giving them care isn’t getting anything back! They are genuinely concerned for someone and in turn are treated badly. What do they get from caring for someone? Nothing at all. And they feel like not caring for anyone anymore at all.
There also the opposite to not caring for anyone. Its called over-caring and I’ve just learnt about it. Over-caring it seems means that you care for someone so much that the person on the receiving end feels suffocated. You care about someone so deeply that in return you want to know everything about them. This type of caring could be good according to me if you are extremely close with the other person but it isn’t right if you hardly even know them.
So the question here is, do we need to care for someone? Because we know that caring for someone could result in two things. One being that you in return won’t be cared about and the second being that the care you receive would be disturbing. So is it really necessary to care? Well my answer is yes.
I’ve grown up with only the genuine care from my family but not friends. As a kid I cared about every friend but was shattered to know that they din’t even bother to know if I’m still beside them. People came and went and I cared for everyone but what did I get? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I started thinking what was the point of me caring for an individual when I won’t get that in return? I was going to stop caring until I met the friends that I have now. I din’t care for them at first thinking I’m gonna be let down again like how I’ve been from the past years but when I couldn’t help but feel for them genuinely. And then I was so shocked to actually be receiving the affection that I had been giving to others from such a long time. I felt blessed to be in the vicinity of people who actually cared about my existence. What I did affected them and I couldn’t be happier.
I might not have many people who care about me, but I know there are a few people out there. I sometimes do ‘over-care’ but I know I do it for the right people because they don’t mind it. Of course when it goes out of hand they tell me and well, I just stop. But that doesn’t mean that they will stop caring for me. We have that understanding and everything’s back to normal.
But I still do sometimes feel that the care I show to others is not what I get in return. I’m not on the top of anyone’s list but does that stop me? Nope. I know that caring for the right people will always be the best for me and the people around me. I can’t care for each and everyone and expect them for something in return. That’s not fair either for me or for them. So I’ve learnt that if I am to care for someone, I need to be sure that that person deserves it. As for over-caring, I feel its fine when you do it with the right people. But you shouldn’t for people who don’t deserve it. Why waste your energy on someone who’s going to not appreciate what you do for them? What would you benefit from knowing everything about someone’s life while they think you aren’t needed in their life and are irritated with you?
So what I say is, find the middle to this caring thing. You don’t have to go to the extremes. You don’t have to care about someone who doesn’t feel the same way and you don’t need to care about someone so much that it hurts both you and them. You know why? Because there are people out there who want your care and concern and they are the ones who deserve it. Not someone who will never appreciate what you do for them, or worse, you. And trust me when I say this, you don’t need to waste your time for such people.
Caring for someone, and get the same back is a wonderful feeling. You feel appreciated and loved. So be wise when you do so.
And one more thing, if you know someone who cares about you then treat them right. Don’t neglect them because that hurts them a lot. Appreciate what you have with you!
I really don’t know if any of this made any sense. I just hope it did as according to me its something really important because I’ve been through this quite a lot and I know it feels.