A Bunch Of Words Strung Together, For You

Dear Shefy,

Welcome to a blog post dedicated entirely to you!
I hope that didn’t sound creepy oh my god it did didn’t it?

When our classes got shuffled in the seventh grade and we ended up being in the same class, I remember thinking to myself, “Isn’t this that girl I see roaming around during recess and near the buses?”

One Tenali Rama drama in the ninth grade later, you became close.

From the tiffins we ate in the second period because we both were always hungry, to fighting those bullies in class – in such a short amount of time we gathered so many memories oh my.

During recess everyday – me to myself, “she still roams around? Does this woman not get tired?”

Then I left. My memory of a few years after that are blurry to me. I tend to block bad memories because as you know, I choose to shove my feelings deep down instead of talking about them.
But with everything that was going on, you were always by my side. It felt like you could hear the inner me cry for help and you were there to calm her down.
At the worst of my times you didn’t give me sympathy, you treated me normally.
It seemed like you could see past everything that was happening, the monster I was becoming. I was still the same to you and today if I have my sanity intact it’s because of you.

You’re my personal cheerleader!

 

When I took an unexpected hiatus from the internet and disappeared on you for more than a year, I really thought that it was the end. That things would not go back to how they were.
A part of me believed I had lost you forever.
Why?
Because I felt that me not being around to make you remember I exist would mean that eventually you’d forget. The devil that is my brain made me believe that perhaps you talked to me because I’d make you. That now you probably were thinking, “good riddance” and thanked your stars for me taking a sudden exit from your life.
You probably didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, and that feeling ate me up so much….

When I made my re-appearance, I was firm in my thoughts.
But boy oh boy did things turn from there.

You cursed at me for disappearing on you like that and thought I was dead.
I still laugh at this ūüėā

To see someone that affected by what I had done made not just my day but my life. I know you still hate that I did it to you but if I am being honest, I’m glad I did it. It is only because of that incident did I realize that¬†even if I was a random message that popped on your screen rather than an actual human popping around you in reality, I meant something to you.

Yup, I am that selfish. I am talking about myself when this is supposed to be a post about you.
Like I care….

And it has only been up from there!!

As time passed you became an integral part of my life. I still don’t know how you managed to do that. You always complain about how high I have built the walls around me but somehow you managed to make a you-sized hole in one of them.

You and I, we have nothing in common. We are poles apart. You are so emotional and me, the complete opposite.
But I guess, that’s the beauty of our friendship. Two people with zero common ground being this close is not something anyone can imagine.
At least I didn’t.

Not being around for five years takes a toll on you though. My friends here say how amazing it is that despite the different time zones I still am this close to you. Little do they know that it might look beautiful from the outside, but deep down it eats you up.
It eats me up.

There are times when I feel like I need a shoulder to cry on. Times when I just want to hug you as you go through some of the most unimaginable situations in life.
Not being able to just sit next to you and tell you that everything will be alright is a fact that I learned to live with.
It isn’t a fact that I wanted to learn to live with.

I’m not a people person, you know that. My issues with human beings have been present ever since I can remember.
My entire life I have felt like a doormat. People came, people went.
But you stayed.

I have had this fear ever since a kid, of people leaving me. I don’t know from where it stems but it has always been there.
I think I was ten years old when this fear set in.
All I did was not let people in because I always felt that one fine day they’ll leave.
But you never left.

Even after seeing the absolute mess that I am – the weird little girl with problems bigger than her height and a personality that half the world doesn’t like – you decided to stay.

Three – four years ago I stopped attaching myself to people. Probably why disappearing came easy to me. I was convinced that the fear residing in me is true and I was better off without any people in my life.
What magic did you do to change my mind, woman?

Recent events that have happened triggered the fear I finally had gotten rid of. But it’s because of people like you, I know that even though the fear of people leaving me is present, I need to give people a chance because not everyone will.
And that’s why you’re important to me. You, without even realizing it changed so many views of mine about life and about people.

You restored my faith in humanity. If today I believe in people – it’s because you taught me to.

We think alike once in a blue moon and the only common thing between us is probably our extreme hatred for watermelon, yet we ended up building a friendship so strong that all the adjectives in the English language aren’t enough to describe it.

Your friends ended up being my friends and my friends, yours. Your drama with your friends comes to me as you seek solutions and my whining and ranting about India and our society comes to you.
From sending screenshots of others’ messages to each other and asking, “what do I say now?” or my personal favourite, “look what they said!”, to sending voice-notes detailing the other about our day – we do it all.

For the others reading this as it’s on a public platform and have no idea what is going on, this best friend of mine is getting married and I am getting emotional.
She isn’t dying
I know that’s what you thought. Shush

So bebz, you’re getting married to the love of your life. Your story is something that I’ve read about or seen in movies.
When you told me your story I thought to myself, “um, did she just narrate a movie plot? Do these things happen in real?”

It does. You’re living proof.

You’re a fighter. You’re an inspiration.
You’re story makes me believe in love.
I don’t believe for myself, duh. But I guess I believe that there are people like you out there, the rarest of the rare, who show the world the very fact we have grown up watching on our screens – that true love exists.
A love that sees no boundary, no time and no place. A love so strong that it could fight the most painful struggles and still come out strong.

A love that gets a happy ending.

You getting married is like the end of an era. You’re so willingly giving up almost your entire life to be with the man who won your heart.
It’s not something you see on a daily basis. And I consider myself lucky to be witnessing this.
I consider myself lucky to have you in my life.

I don’t like change.
But this change is something I’m looking forward to as it is going to bring you the happiness that you oh so much deserve.
And seeing you happy is all I want.

I know you’re a materialistic person. And this is far from a gift that you’d like. I made you read even though you hate reading. It’s the most awful gift to give you, actually!
But as of now I can’t give you anything in the material form.
I hope for the time being this is enough because if I decided to tell you how I feel, it means you’re pretty darn special to me.
You’re lucky to have me in your life!

Thank you for always being there for me. I won’t be telling you all the other sappy stuff.
Because I ain’t going anywhere.

This isn’t a “bye” but a new “hello” as you step into this new chapter of your life.

I believe I have made you feel important enough. More than this you don’t deserve so now I stop.

I’ll see you in your messages after this.

Yours,
Kitty

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Surprise Surprise!

So on Friday my friends in U.A.E. organised a surprise birthday party for my close friend. When I was talking to Nerd Enchanted about it, the event triggered a lot of memories of mine regarding surprise parties. And so here I am blogging about all my memories.

The series of ‘surprise parties’ started in April 2012, and I was the first um, victim? (I don’t know what to call myself).
So it was a Monday (yes I remember all the details) when a close friend of mine called me up in the afternoon. She asked if I would be able to join her for a trip to a nearby park on Thursday. I said yes, but I was wondering why all of a sudden she wanted to go to the park! We don’t go a lot to parks you see?
Everything was okay till Wednesday. In the evening I was watching TV when the phone rang. I saw that it was a friend of mine who was calling so I picked up. And as soon as I said hello she said, ‘Is your mom there? I want to speak to her.’ Without any questions I gave the phone to my mother but was really surprised. Why would she want to talk to my MOTHER? My mom spoke to her and gave the phone to me again. When I spoke to her she said, ‘Ask your mom.’ I asked my mom and she told me that she asked for permission to give me a send-off party on the next Thursday. This really got me suspicious.
So that night I saw a dream (like I do every single night). In the dream, I saw that I was in the park with my friend. Nothing strange until I saw my whole school bus group seated right next to me! I immediately woke up shocked and wondering why I saw such a dream. You see, I get a lot of prophetic dreams. I’ll tell you about them some other day maybe. ūüėČ
The next day I was walking with my friend to the park and was telling her about my other friend’s phone call. She din’t respond and normally she responds to such stuff. Now I was quite sure that my dream is gonna come true. I went to the park and from behind a tree all my friends jumped up infront and yelled ‘SURPRISE’. Well it wasn’t a surprise, but still I was the happiest person on the planet that day!

So from there on, surprise parties are held for the birthday girl. It is so common that the birthday girl expects a ‘surprise birthday party’ on birthday. It is so unpredictable you see?

After this I was part of my friend’s surprise party on Halloween last year. The most hilarious part was the cake! I have this extremely blonde and childish friend who had taken up the responsibility for the cake. She did get cake, but forgot a knife. Now how will the birthday girl cut her own cake? More importantly how will we eat the cake? Seeing no other way around it, someone suggested that she should cut the cake with a plastic fork and that we eat it using plastic forks. And 5 minutes after, everyone destroying the cake with their respective plastic forks!!

After that I came to India. So all the ‘surprise party’ stories were conveyed to me by my friends via Facebook messaging. One party wasn’t a surprise because she realised it while the other party was a surprise until the other girls came late which made the birthday girl confirm her slowly increasing suspicions!

The party on Friday marked the very first success story of a surprise party, because it really was a surprise. The plan was perfect and it blowed the birthday girl’s mind!

All these events might just be a memory for me, and to know about the other parties I’ll have to rely on the Internet but it still makes me so happy! On Friday when I got to know about the success, even though I wasn’t there I was still so happy. Obviously my friends don’t know how I actually feel because I din’t tell them! Oh wait they might know now if they read this.
Lets hope I make new and wonderful memories here as well!

iTunes Game : Radioactive

So I saw this game on a couple of blogs and thought I should try it out as well. It involves 2 things that I absolutely enjoy (among various other stuff) Рquestionnaires and music.  People say its weird to actually enjoy doing a questionnaire, But somehow I do. Maybe because I suck at making questions, or actually lazy to do so as its very time-consuming.

The Rules :

1. Put your music player on shuffle.

2. Press forward for each question.

3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense.

4. Tag friends.

5. Have Fun!

NO CHEATING!

If someone says ‚Äúare you okay‚ÄĚ, you say?

Better Dig Two – The Band Perry

How are you feeling today?

Houdini – Foster The People

How would you describe yourself?

Turn Around – Conor Maynard Featuring Ne-Yo

How do your friends see you?

Castle Of Glass РLinkin Park   (Really?)

What do you like in a guy / girl?

How To Save A Life – The Fray¬†(That’s quite helpful right?)

What is your best friend’s theme song?

Zero Gravity – David Archuleta

What is your life’s purpose?

Notice Me – David Archuleta (And whom am I telling this to?)

What is the story of your life?

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams РGreen Day (Why do I have a feeling my playlist is trying to mock me right now?)

What’s your motto?

Ooh La La – Britney Spears¬†(The lyrics are good and a nice message is sent as well. So I’m cool with this one.)

What was high school like?

22 – Taylor Swift¬†(Don’t get the wrong idea from this.)

What do your friends think of you?

Superman РJoe Brooks (Oh My God. Really? This is just so awesome *jumps around like a crazy lunatic* )

How can you get ahead in life?

Glowing РThe Script (That sums it up)

What is 2+2?

Right Now – Rihanna Featuring David Guetta

What is the best thing about your friends?

Not Afraid – Eminem¬†(I can’t begin to tell you how true this is. All my friends are fearless, unlike me)

What is tonight going to be like?

Swagger Jagger – Cher Lloyd¬†(If the term ‘Swagger Jagger’ means sitting at home all night because your sick, then yes. That’s exactly what I’ll be doing tonight)

What is in store for this weekend?

Get It Started – Pitbull Featuring Shakira

What song describes you?

Clocks – Coldplay

To describe your parents?

Die Young РKe$ha (Wait, what?)

How is your life going?

Closer – Ne-Yo

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Take Back The Night – Justin Timberlake

How does the world see you?

I’m Yours – Jason Mraz¬†(So I sacrificed myself to the world? Now when did that happen?!)

What will you dance to at your wedding?

For The First Time – The Script

Will you have a happy life?

Nothing РThe Script (So its a no?)

What do you think about very often?

Diamonds – Rihanna¬†(I don’t even like diamonds!)

What song will they play at your funeral?

Numb РUsher (How apt is that?)

Do people secretly lust after you?

For The Love Of A Daughter – Demi Lovato

What do you think when you see the person you like?

Vanilla Twilight РOwl City (Erm, okay?)

What is your hobby / interest?

Lonely Boy – The Black Keys

How can you make yourself happy?

How To Love – Lil’ Wayne

What is your greatest fear?

Back Together – Jesse McCartney

What do you want right now?

Feel Again – One Republic

What should you do with your life?

She’s No You – Jesse McCartney

What is your biggest secret?

Daddy’s Little Girl – Jesse McCartney¬†(This is extremely untrue!)

What will you post this as?

Radioactive – Imagine Dragons¬†(As the word ‘Radio’ is used here, I think its a nice name for the post)

 

So that’s the end. This was so much fun, though it came with unexpected revelations. Otherwise I must say my playlist is quite smart because most of the questions somehow got an answer that makes sense. After all its my playlist. Haha.

Do try this yourself. I’m pretty sure you’re gonna have fun too!

Missing My Chocolates

You know how teenagers today crib about their ‘relationship’ with a teenager of the opposite gender? This dating stuff is like a deadly virus that has spread to every next teen. Do you also find it weird like how I do? Kids falling in love and all, I really find it silly. Until it happened to me!!

What is it you say? You think I’m in love with a guy? How could you think that?

I’m in love, with my beloved CHOCOLATES!!

Now don’t ask me when and where it started as I can’t force my brain to recollect that. I just know that I’m lucky to have such a love in my life.
We shared the perfect love story. ¬†Almost everyday I’d eat a bar of my favourite chocolate and occasionally the expensive one. Even if I couldn’t buy the most expensive ones on a weekly basis, I’d just watch them glisten on the stalls of the market and whisper to them that I’ll soon be back to buy them.
But every love story needs a villain. And in this case it is my native country!

My native country does not have a rich variety of chocolates. The ones easily available are Ferero Rocher and Toblerone. But it is so expensive that one can’t even think of buying them! For the other chocolates, you need to go on a Scavenger Hunt. But I can’t guarantee you that you’ll find them. You might, but you’ll have to spend your entire month’s salary (or in this case my dad’s salary) just to buy a bar. Shocking isn’t it?

I came here with a pack of Hershey’s and survived with it for a month. And now it has been nearly 5 months that I haven’t eaten a good chocolate. The local chocolates are not suited for my taste. So now I’m left with the only choice of missing them.

Now I’m gonna post some pictures of my all-time favourite chocolates. If you get tempted please realise that it is my intention to do so!

This company is amazing. This is the chocolate I ate the most. And Fruit and Nut is my favourite flavour.

My younger brother’s favourite chocolate. But I’d munch on it most of the time. Don’t tell my brother as he still asks me who used to finish his stack.

Do you know this? Of course you do! Twice in a month I’d buy this and eat it at a snail’s speed.

Do you¬†recognize¬†this world-famous chocolate? Of course you do. Once a month I’d eat this. If not then something is wrong with me.

   

My second favourite chocolate! I can go on and on about it, but right now I’m emotional so I won’t be able to do so.

Well, now is the most-awaited chocolate. I know you want to know which one is my favourite. So here goes………

This chocolate, I have no words. Its like heaven in my mouth. The joy of catching it in my hand and running to my house just to sit comfortably and enjoy every bite of it!

I’m sitting here posting these pictures and I literally have tears in my eyes! I just can’t bear this separation right now.
Well chocolates, if you are reading this, please know that I’m missing you terribly.

I know I missed out on many more chocolates. You know my condition right now, so please pardon me.

Well, this post has made me hungry. Let me go stuff myself with chocolate – chip cookies. My only substitution for chocolates!

Why is my career everyone’s concern?

When there are only about 2 years left for you to leave high school and join the university, you are pounded with questions by anonymous people. These questions are related to the career path we plan to choose. The same thing is happening to me now.

When various family members enter my house they don’t greet me the casual way. Instead they greet me by asking, “What are you aspiring to be in the future?”
I must admit, I knew this day will come and actually when I was young I looked forward to this day. I remember jumping around telling everyone who came to the house about the profession I would take up in the distant future. And yes, the next month if they decided to show up, my profession would’ve changed.
I was a kid. Don’t judge me.

But now when the ‘most anticipated’ days of my life have arrived, it is getting on my nerves.
There are relatives whom I never knew existed and these people come up to me and ask what have I got in store for my future! The only thing going on in my mind at that very moment is I don’t even know you. I think that is mutual. So why do you even care?

Okay asking about my career is somewhat tolerable, but the most irritating part is when these so-called-relatives decide to give their oh-so-important comments about it!

Well I aspire to be a high level computer programmer. If not programming then something related to IT.


This is the way I feel a computer looks at me when I go near it!

Now this decision is totally mine. I love computers and decided I should make a career out of it. Not to mention I’m good at it too. I generally finish the computer teacher’s sentences in school and always score the highest! (I know I’m boasting here but hey, there’s no harm in appreciating what I’ve got)

But these relatives don’t understand it. Indian parents mostly want their child to either become a doctor or an engineer. So doing an engineering course isn’t a big thing here, especially computers as people end up doing that! But that isn’t my fault right?

Last week an uncle of mine asked, “You want to do computer engineering right? What’s new in that? You are so smart and get high grades all the time! Why are you wasting your intelligence or a mere four-year computer engineering course? Do something medical?”

I was quite furious and I replied, “That is just my base. After that I’ll be further studying programming. So I’m not stopping there. I want to study a lot. A minimum of 6-7 years of studying is my aim.”

You’d expect the opposite person to be quite happy for you as it isn’t quite common for a student to actually have the heart to study so much. But that wasn’t my case.
He replied, “Oh. So you think you are so smart that you’ll beat everyone in your family ancestry and study so much? What are you even thinking?”
So if I study less, no one is happy. And if I study more, then also they decide to remain unhappy?
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

I’m happy with what I have chosen out for my career. So are my parents. Even my grandparents are quite happy. So who are you to judge?

I just wish that someday, these people whom I don’t even know will understand. If not understand then at least stop commenting on someone’s preferences!
I’m just tired of all this! Leave me and my parents in peace and mind your own business! Please?