Weight Issues

I’ve always struggled with my weight. It’s probably one of the earliest memories that I have. Everyone that saw me always had quite a bit to say.
Quite a lot really.
And it has never stopped.
Not even now.

I was born underweight. It wasn’t a huge deal to my parents as this is sort of common in my family. Growing up, I never really put on much weight. I was an underweight kid. Skinny and small – these are the perfect adjectives to describe my younger self.
Somehow these adjectives followed me till I grew up. It’s these words that still describe me till date.

Yeah, you guessed it. This is a rant about being skinny – shamed.

So yup. I’m excessively thin. I’m not the dictionary definition of “skinny” but that’s the tag I have gotten by everyone. Who knows, maybe I am skinny but my tendency to take words literally is what makes me not believe it.

I, on a regular hear comments about my weight. I hear things like,
“Be careful the wind is strong! You’ll fly away!”
“You buy your clothes from the children’s section right?”
“Do you not eat?”
“Eat more”
“Girl, exercise”
“You might even fit in my pocket”
“You can be folded”
“How are you even standing?”
“Anyone can just pick you up”

What doesn’t help my case is the fact that I’m short. Short and skinny, can you even imagine what I hear everyday?
No you can’t
Because you probably say it too

 

Two weeks back, I had some relatives over for dinner. These are the kind of relatives that I love.
As I was staring at my wardrobe (this is how I select clothes. I just stare at them ūüíĀ) this one kurti spoke to me. I took it out and first thing that came to my mind was, “This kurti doesn’t make you look too thin. Wear it and you’ll escape the “you’ve lost so much weight” comments that are coming your way”
And I did.
I wore that kurti.
Because I didn’t want to hear those comments.
And that’s when it clicked me.
This is what I have become now.

If you were to see me when I was seven years old, you’d always find me in overalls. I loved them so much, I had around five kinds of overalls. All different from each other.

This aunty once told my mom, “She looks more thin in overalls. She looks like a stick. Frocks are better at least.”

I never wore overalls after that.

Which kid is supposed to think about their body and not just wear what she wants?
Is it right for a 7 year old to be subjected to that kind of cruelty?

I looked at myself in the full length mirror in my parents’ bedroom and said to myself, “I really do look like a stick. No wonder I hear such bad stuff. I look bad”

And that’s when I started getting super insecure about my body.

Each and every comment made about me by family members and friends’ parents were audible now. I heard everything but never reacted to them as my parents also always seemed to agree with them. It just broke me because I started to believe that I looked horrible. I started believing every word that everyone around me said.

The girl who loved wearing knee length skirts one day just stopped wearing them because she heard a comment saying she had, “chicken legs” once. She doesn’t even remember who told it, but that sentence haunted her for the rest of her life.

Tell me, is that really normal?

When I was around 15 years old, I decided to stop feeling this bad about myself and try and turn things around. That it was time I stopped feeling ugly and owned how I looked completely.
I need to feel good about myself because I should.
None of this is my fault. I shouldn’t punish myself.

I did just that. It took me years to finally feel good about myself. To feel comfortable in my own skin. To actually be okay with how I was.
I put the whole world on mute.

But somehow now, everyone isn’t on mute anymore.

The past two – three years or so have been incredibly tough on my body. I’ve been losing a lot of weight. I personally don’t mind it because I know why it is happening, but somehow everyone around me has something to say and it has started pricking me.
Because this time, it’s worse.

What I hear today, are jokes. Actual jokes made in front of other people.
And these hurt.

Somehow my identity today is that I’m super thin and can “fly away at any given time”. Anything that I do or say in life doesn’t really matter anymore. It doesn’t contribute to my identity.
This one, physical attribute of mine, upon which I have no control over, is what I will forever be known as.

And you know what? That’s wrong.
Because these “jokes” have brought my insecurities back.
And that, isn’t fair.

How dare you joke about me?
When did I tell you that it’s okay?
Who told you that you’re allowed to make me feel insecure about my own self?
Who gave you permission to make me feel ugly?
Who asked you for your “advice”?
Why can’t you understand that you need to stop when I tell you to?
Why do you feel it’s okay to comment about my body?

There is a limit to everything. Sure, the comments that my close friends tell me don’t affect me one bit. On the contrary I laugh with them. Not a word they say on this topic affect me or my self esteem in any way.
Because they don’t say anything that hurts me. They, are in there limits.

But not everyone is. You can’t joke about how you will just pack me in a suitcase or how I shouldn’t really pay for a seat because a person’s lap is enough for me.
That my friend, is where you cross all the limits.
And I don’t think you should be told all of this.
This is something that should come from within you.

If today, I have gone back to selecting clothes that make me look less thin as I go in front of the people that I love and care about, it’s your jokes to blame.
You have scarred me to such an extent that the little girl who was horrified of her body is back.
The one I took so many years to get rid off, is back.
And it’s your fault.

Today when I look at myself in the mirror, all I can think about are the jokes you crack as I look at my body.

And I, have had enough.

I have felt helpless and ugly all my life. It took a lot of effort for me to be comfortable in my own skin.
I can’t let my efforts go to waste.
I can’t let you and your jokes win.
I can’t let that little girl come back again.

You, aren’t allowed to break me anymore.
You, aren’t allowed to make me feel ugly anymore.

The next time you crack a God – awful joke about someone’s body, think about how it could affect them.
It doesn’t matter if they are fat or thin, there are lines which you shouldn’t cross.
Because you never know which joke of yours could lead to someone feeling disgusted about themselves.

I know plenty of others, my own friends, who have been subjected to this kind of stuff. I know how low they have felt about themselves too.
And it isn’t right.

No one should feel like they are ugly.
No one should feel that their self worth depends upon how their body is.

So choose your words wisely, because you don’t know what the other person is going through.
You don’t know their struggles.
Your words, your jokes, can break someone.

You don’t know how the sentences you let out of your mouth can shatter even the strongest of people.
Because this is a sensitive topic.
And it’s time, you find a topic that is genuinely funny.

Let’s not make people insecure about themselves.
Can we just agree on this?

Advertisements

Versions

Who am I to you?
Just another human walking the surface of the planet
That you happened to cross
And now regret?

Who am I to you?
Just another contact on your phone
The one you’ll remember
Only when you need something?

Who am I to you?
Just one of your many friends
In whom you’re slowly losing interest
Making you re-think your past decisions
But it’s too late today
So you’re just keeping up for old time’s sake?

Who am I to you?
Just another person you know
Whose company you don’t really enjoy
But in a place like this
Only a few seem tolerable
And somehow I fall in this category
So you decide to just pretend?

Who am I to you?
Just another girl who you find annoying
Whom you didn’t find such in the start
But then got onto your nerves
Therefore planning to get rid of?

Who am I to you?
Just another over-thinker and ranter
Who probably told you all the thoughts that swam in her head
Which you didn’t expect when you met her
Because she seemed calm and composed
And on learning the opposite
Makes you wonder how wrong your judgment was?

Who am I to you?
Just another woman with strong opinions
That tries to raise her voice on the matters around her
Because she can’t keep her mouth shut
When it comes to things she feels strongly
Someone you’d like to belittle?

Who am I to you?
Just another acquaintance
Who speaks about her mental health
Which you believe is crazy
As you were brought up in a society
Where issues like this is are looked down upon
Which makes you believe it isn’t anything real
And it’s just all in the head
So you’re going to discard the struggles
The struggles of functioning like a normal person
All because it doesn’t fit your idea of an ‘ideal human’?

Who am I to you?
Just another idiot
Who says “Thank You” and “Sorry” more than required
And almost cries when someone shows the least bit of interest in her
Because little things matter way too much to her
Which you find weird
Because we live in a day and age
Where one only chases the big things in life?

Who am I to you?
Just another soul
That you sympathize with
As you know about some of the skeletons in the closet
And maybe relate to on some level
So you just continue to endure me
Not because you actually like who I am despite everything
But in reality
All you feel is sorry?

Who am I to you?
Just another person you speak to
Once in a while
When she bugs you
Which is the only time you remember
About her existence
Because she isn’t important
For you to remember on your own?

Tell me what version of me
Is in your head
Is it one of the many I spoke of
Or one of the other possibilities
That are out there?

Because I have reached a breaking point
And I have a million questions in my head
Whose answers I need
To try and feel sane again

The Pros And Cons Of Falling Sick

It’s been days since I’ve fallen sick. It started out with a common cold which has now resulted in the worst cold I’ve ever had in my life until now. I can say that with confidence¬†as I have a lot of experience with falling sick. Trust me on that one.

Growing up I was that kid who falls ill every other day. In these 365 days that make a year, around 60 days was when I was healthy – no exaggeration here. My immune system was a serious joke, I couldn’t even call it an immune system!
My memories from the age of 1 till 8 are all about me falling sick. During the days when I din’t fall sick, I used to feel really weird. I was so used to falling sick that the idea of feeling healthy seemed strange.

But not to worry now. My immune system does its job quite well now. I still remember in 4th grade when the teacher told me that I had full attendance I went, “What? Did this just happen?” My teacher had a really puzzled look on her face and maybe in that moment she thought I went crazy. I won’t blame her for thinking that.
It’s not like I don’t fall sick at all now. That’s never gonna happen. It’s just that the frequency rate is quite a bit low. I only fall sick when the weather changes and when I eat something my stomach still doesn’t accept in it’s land. And that’s so much better for me.

As you can see, a lot of my life’s experiences are related around illnesses. So since my body is still in recovery from this annoying cold which has given me a fever, a sore throat, a runny nose, a back pain and a head ache -all in the span of five days – I thought it’s a good time to share with you all some of my expertise. After all that’s why we are here, to share our pain with each other. When I know I can make you suffer by making you read this poorly written post then I’m not going to miss out on this opportunity. I suffer so you suffer. Muahahaha

Now falling sick isn’t all that bad. You do get a lot of benefits from this. And as all the wise people have said, we need to look at the positive side of the bad stuff happening to us which will help us find a way through it all. They din’t exactly say this but I’m pretty sure it’s something along these lines.

So now you and me are going to go through the pros of falling sick :

1. The Royal Treatment – Since you are incapable of doing things for yourself, the people around you readily do it for you. This obviously means that you have to do absolutely nothing. You can just lay in bed and ask someone to pass you the book that is in the shelf near you, and they will come running from the other room to do just that. It’s the perfect time to be lazy.
2. Getting to sleep the day through – We everyday complain about how much we lose out on sleep because of our hectic schedules. Even the weekend sometimes gets too cramped up with so much to do. Since our body is already too weak, you can easily go to sleep without any fuss. Nobody and nothing is going to disturb your precious sleep.
3. All the food you want¬†– You get to eat a lot of food and no one is going to complain about that. Whatever you want, you get it. From soup to cake – everything. Except cold stuff. Why would you want something cold in the first place? Aren’t you ill? Oh wait….you can’t eat everything. Few exceptions can be made right?
4. Temporary leave from the horrid places – You get to take leave from wherever it is you’re supposed to be. Either the office or school. You’re free! And when you go back, you have a whole new energy inside of you. Let’s be honest, it’ll get drained out the minute you set foot into the place again – but let’s leave that out right now.
5. Unleashing the anger 
– Do you know about all that anger which you have been suppressing inside of you from the past months (or maybe years)?¬†The ones that were caused by either some nagging relative or by that annoying colleague at your work place? You never are able to let it all out but looks like the golden opportunity has now arrived. You can let all of your anger out on basically anyone without worrying that you are going to upset them. Why? Because they know you are sick so they are going to forgive you. They won’t even take your outbursts seriously. Such a relief for you isn’t it?

 

Now we need to get to the darker side of all this. The negatives of falling ill are a lot. Like a¬†lot. So let’s get to them now. Together of course. I’m not leaving you now.

1. Life sucked out of the body – That cold has eaten up every bit of life that remains in your body. You forget what walking feels like. Do not even talk about the energy levels. They are at a whole new level of low. Wait a minute. What is energy? I don’t remember feeling energetic. Are you saying I used to be energetic once? That was a lifetime ago mate.
2.¬†Plastic surgery might be a requirement¬†– At least that’s what you think. Your face is discolored. You’ve actually become pale and if your friends visit you then they are going to crack jokes about how you may have turned into a vampire. In a matter of days you feel like your face has changed shape. You look at yourself in the mirror and scream, “That’s not me! Who is this person? That’s not meee!!”
3. The weird feeling of being tired¬†– Feeling tired is the weirdest feeling ever you experience when you’re sick. Why? Because how in the world can you get tired by doing absolutely nothing? You’re just laying in bed and now you’re tired? What is happening?
4. Losing out on sleep¬†– As I said in the pros – you can sleep to your heart’s content. But somehow you just can’t. This is the only opportunity for you to sleep but your body refuses to do so. You’re so sleepy but still you can’t sleep. You try all sorts of things to fall asleep but everything goes to waste.

Untitled Diagram (1)
5. The death of the beloved taste buds – You can eat anything you want but what’s the use when you can’t taste anything? Your favorite cake tastes bland. Pizza tastes like plain bread. Food isn’t food anymore. This is so cruel! I’m just going to sit by myself here and cry …..
6. Anger level = Hulk РEvery little thing angers you. Even if you drop a drop of water you are going to get so angry you could punch a wall. You are not going to be able to get through the day with a straight face. You are not going to be happy. The only emotion you feel is anger.
7. Horrible tasting medicines – Do I really need to explain this?
8. Talk no more – I talk a lot. Really, really a lot. And this one hurts me a lot. I lose the ability to talk even when I get a slight fever. If I even try to talk, then I get really tired. If I have a sore throat then I lose my voice which is the most frustrating thing in this whole world for me. I want the ability to express myself through my voice. I need it!

By the looks of it, the cons outweigh the pros in this case. So here’s the lesson people – even if the good side seems brighter, do not fall sick. I repeat, don’t fall sick. It’s the most torturous thing in this entire universe. Try your level best to avoid getting hit by those bacteria that take over your body and make you feel less human.

And if your efforts to stay away from this situation fails miserably and you end up falling sick, then I’m here for you.

What are somethings that you experience when you fall sick?

“Everybody Does It”

This phrase is something that is thrown at you when you have conflicting opinions. The opinions that are completely opposite of the popular ones. It has become a part of everyday conversation and debate. While it might be told lightheartedly, what it really shows about the person is something many people fail to realize.

What is the meaning you might ask? Well, it directly gives the impression that because a majority of the people perform the talked about action , it is okay. Since it is popular it immediately means it is correct and the one opposing it is in the wrong. The majority wins. That is why it is in the majority.

If I were to mention the number of times this phrase was used at me, then I’m pretty sure I’d be 40 years old by the time I finish. And I’m not exaggerating here. This really is the case with me. I guess that’s what happens when you have opinions that aren’t always met with a smile.

As a kid, I’ve always had strong opinions about everything. My parents have always told me that I should never be afraid to speak my mind and that is something very strongly instilled in me today. Whatever it is, I surely have an opinion and I won’t be afraid to tell you that. But what happens is that I’m always countered. Why? Well, that’s because my opinions generally don’t agree with the popular ones. I’m the one who opposes almost everything popular today.

It wasn’t until recently when I realized how strongly can this phrase affect you. A friend of mine and I were debating about what teenagers nowadays like to do and how I always oppose it all. She then told me, “Everybody does it. So why do you have a problem?” I was taken aback.

This wasn’t the first time obviously, but somehow what she said stung me for once. I guess because it was about something that I have been strongly opposing since forever. I know you must be wondering what it is. So now let me tell you.

Since I don’t have many friends, I try to keep myself in the social circle by learning about what’s happening around me and all about the people around me too. I see almost everyday what teenagers around me indulge in for ‘fun’ and it bothers me way too much.
I know kids at the age of 14 or 15 who have either smoked all kinds of stuff, who have slept around with various people or consumed all the varieties of alcohol. Worse is that there are 14 year old kids who have done ALL of this and not just one. Until and unless you’re my friend, I really don’t care what anyone does but when this starts becoming so prevalent among the people around you, it’s hard to ignore it. Very hard.

I don’t think it’s okay to be doing any of this at such a young age. I mean, you’re just 14! A 14 year old isn’t mature enough to understand all of this or even know about all of this. And on asking why one would drink or smoke the answer is mostly because someone dumped them. Really? At the age of 13 you are crying because someone dumped you? My biggest concern when I was 13 was what dress I’d wear for my birthday!

If only one or two kids did this, then this post wouldn’t ever be written. But all of this is now some sort of trend for everyone to follow. Gone are the days when studies and friends were the things that bothered one at night. Now what bothers most of the teenagers here is what brand of alcohol is the best to serve for the next party. I can’t really take this anymore.

That figure in red, is me. As I’m not like the rest, I have been thrown out of the popular crowd. And I’m extremely happy being on the other side.

Some teens do understand that what is going on isn’t right. But they still do all of this. Why? Because they don’t want to be that figure in red. They don’t want to be like me. Everyone does all of this without any hesitation. And in the end they feel it is correct. It’s correct because it is the popular action right now. Everybody does it, so why not them? Right?

Not right. Who ever told that what is the popular belief needs to be the appropriate one? What ever happened to thinking on your own and using your sense of judgement to understand what is right or wrong? Just because everybody does it, does it mean it is right? If the answer is yes, then bullying has become incredibly popular now. So does that justify any act of bullying? Is bullying ‘okay’ now? Think about it.

I understand that sometimes we make decisions in haste, but this doesn’t qualify like that. Agreed that this is the age where we can make mistakes and learn from them. But why make mistakes as such that could ruin your entire life? This won’t even qualify as a mistake if you thought about doing it. You are not going to laugh about this 10 years from now. You certainly won’t!

I also know that peer pressure plays an important role in this. But you need to use your brains and understand that it isn’t right. Just because your best friend smokes before writing her math exam doesn’t mean you need to also just so that you still can remain her best friend.
If your group of 50 friends do this, it immediately doesn’t mean that you also need to do it! No one ever needs such friends who cloud your sense of judgement and turn you into a bad person. I know this because I have also been through peer pressure. If I hadn’t said no and distanced myself from them then today I would be doing all the things that I mentioned here. And you have no idea how good I feel because I stopped myself from getting into all this mess. If I can, then anyone can.

I personally don’t hate anyone who does it all, though it might seem like that. I can’t hate someone whom I don’t even know. But all of this has just begun to really upset me. I try hard to forget about all of this, but I can’t. My opinions have isolated me from this generation. But guess what? I’m extremely happy not being a part of what everybody does. I still have a chance to be me.

We are ourselves. You are you, and I am me. Following someone else’s footsteps or performing the popular action won’t make your place in this world easier. Doing something just because ‘everybody’ does it makes us look like we can’t function on our own. Don’t follow the crowd. Instead, stand out from the crowd. It isn’t too late for anyone to change.

Saying “Everybody does it” is not a valid reason for all the wrong actions that are happening. It never will be. Use your brain and do what you feel is right rather than doing what the people around you say is right.

Things No One Should Say To Me Anymore

I think this week’s post’s title is self-explanatory. So I’m gonna skip the general 2 paragraph introduction I always give you. Why waste your time reading that, when you could spend your time productively? ( I know that when you read ‘productively’ you immediately thought of¬†Facebook and Twitter. Yes I’m watching you. -cue evil laugh-)

I don’t know what is with people asking me weird and senseless stuff. Not to mention the nonsensical language that many speak in. Like hello, that is what I do okay?
Anyways, all this really irritates me to the point where I start making plans on how to kill them. To be honest, I get irritated by every little thing. I even get irritated at myself at times.
So today I’ve decided to take a step against this. Now I’ll list what all I have to go through on a regular basis. All the things I’m tired of hearing.

1. “How are you so thin? Give us tips please?”
I’m not so thin also. Have you seen others? As for the tips, if I knew wouldn’t I have already released a book and made millions out of it? If you think I have some sort of healthy lifestyle, then I’m sorry to pop your bubble *eats a Pringle* The only tip I can give you, is keep eating. Food is life. You shouldn’t ignore food.

2. “You are a foodie? What? How is it that you eat so much, but end up being so thin?”
You see, I’m blessed with something called a “high metabolism”. Just rub a lamp and ask the genie that comes out to bless you with a high metabolism too, okay?¬†How much ever I eat, it doesn’t affect me. I sometimes feel that the more I eat, the more weight I lose! So now, why will I not take advantage of this and eat my heart out? Do I look like some sort of a fool to you? I’d be a fool if I wasn’t eating when I’m hungry. And I’m always hungry. ALWAYS.

3. “Why do you eat all unhealthy things? All the sweets, and junk food too! Do you not care about your health?”
Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you only eat healthy food. Wait, you don’t? Then why you asking me huh? I’m actually advised my doctor to eat unhealthy food so that it’ll help me gain weight. I’m doing something good. So stop judging me and passing me comments you idiots.
Now,

I realize that there are two GIFS of Jennifer Lawrence here. But what to do, she understands my food situation  more than anyone out there. An amazing celebrity gets me. Now why will I not tell you that?

4. “What is your favourite food?”
How dare you ask me this question? How can you possibly ask me to choose? Food is food. You can’t command me. You can’t do that to me. And besides, what are you going to gain by knowing this huh?

5. “Why are you so short?”
I’m short because I gifted my height to you, so that you can become tall. I’m doing a good deed, so shut up and thank me now.
And also, being short has its advantages. I like being short. Wait a minute, there are people who are shorter than me! So are you telling me you waste spend your time by asking this question to every short person who crosses your path? Nice hobby I must admit.

Now you understand right?

6. “You’re ¬†a nerd right? How lucky. You don’t have to study!”
Wow, what a nice logic. You surely have a brilliant brain. I wonder why you don’t get good grades….
Oh I know, it’s because you actually are plain stupid. You thought I was complimenting you? Another fact that proves you’re stupid. We nerds have to study more, because we have a reputation to keep up. Did that make sense to you now?

This how I react inside when such a question is asked.
I think I speak for all the nerds out there, here.

7. All the ‘cool’ words used while speaking. Meaning, all the “YOLO”s and “SWAG”s
I don’t know who created these words, but I think that is good because that person would probably be dead right now. Can you believe it? It’s 2014, and there are people who STILL say ‘YOLO’ for everything and anything. Have you sold your brain to someone, or is it on a permanent hiatus? If you think this makes you cool, then you have a bunch of ice-cubes for a brain. I’m so sorry to break this news to you.
Now stop using these words, please! Have some mercy on us!

Yes please!

8. “How many books have you read?” And all the other book-related questions.
Yes I’m a bookworm, but I’m a disgrace to all the bookworms out there because I haven’t read a lot of books. I have my reasons for that. But YOU can’t ask me such questions and make me feel bad okay? And how many ever books I’ve read, I don’t think I need to tell you. Why do I need to answer you? Do you really think I’m gonna answer these questions that you ask almost everyone? Have you ever even read a book in the first place?

9. “Why do you love certain celebrities so much? Why do you follow so many shows and fandoms?”
Remind me the next time I start following a celebrity to ask you for permission okay? Oh wait, I don’t need your permission. So then why does it bother you? The entertainment world entertains me more than your non-sense does. Now, doesn’t that make sense?

10. “What social networking sites are you on?”
Why do you want to know? So that you can annoy me there also? If I haven’t told you already, then it means I don’t want you to know. Why is it so hard to understand such simple things? Why?

So there you go. This is my list. I think there are more, but I can’t seem to recollect anymore at the moment. And now I realize that most of this is related to food. Well, that’s me.
Now it’s your turn. What are some of the things that annoy you the most?

To care or not to care?

Its been a while since I’ve posted something serious. Serious in my mind at least. So today I’m gonna post about a topic that I’ve always wondered about.

Everyone is always thinking who cares about them or who will care about them. There’s not a single soul who wouldn’t want at least one person to genuinely care about them. But I find it weird when one expects someone to care about them, but the person doesn’t care about them in return.
Confused? Me too.

Believe it or not, we live in a world full of expectations. Reality is something we refuse to come back to and as a result we keep flying to expectations that we know we can’t expect to be true. I also have expectations – from family, friends and life. But I know that I need to keep them realistic. I can’t expect something from someone, when I know I can’t get it. The same way goes for the term ‘care’.

Expecting genuine care and concern from someone is easy, but caring for someone deeply is tough. I know so many people who constantly crib about no one caring for them but do they care for anyone in the manner they want back? The answer is mostly no. So if you can’t care for anyone then how possibly could you expect it in return?
The funny thing is that mostly there will be someone caring for them, but its neglected which obviously means that the care they receive isn’t appreciated. And then they go around telling that no one cares about them. Isn’t that weird? Someone cares about them so deeply but they don’t seem to notice it which in turn means that the person giving them care isn’t getting anything back! They are genuinely concerned for someone and in turn are treated badly. What do they get from caring for someone? Nothing at all. And they feel like not caring for anyone anymore at all.

There also the opposite to not caring for anyone. Its called over-caring and I’ve just learnt about it. Over-caring it seems means that you care for someone so much that the person on the receiving end feels suffocated. You care about someone so deeply that in return you want to know everything about them. This type of caring could be good according to me if you are extremely close with the other person but it isn’t right if you hardly even know them.

So the question here is, do we need to care for someone? Because we know that caring for someone could result in two things. One being that you in return won’t be cared about and the second being that the care you receive would be disturbing. So is it really necessary to care? Well my answer is yes.

I’ve grown up with only the genuine care from my family but not friends. As a kid I cared about every friend but was shattered to know that they din’t even bother to know if I’m still beside them. People came and went and I cared for everyone but what did I get? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I started thinking what was the point of me caring for an individual when I won’t get that in return? I was going to stop caring until I met the friends that I have now. I din’t care for them at first thinking I’m gonna be let down again like how I’ve been from the past years but when I couldn’t help but feel for them genuinely. And then I was so shocked to actually be receiving the affection that I had been giving to others from such a long time. I felt blessed to be in the vicinity of people who actually cared about my existence. What I did affected them and I couldn’t be happier.

I might not have many people who care about me, but I know there are a few people out there. I sometimes do ‘over-care’ but I know I do it for the right people because they don’t mind it. Of course when it goes out of hand they tell me and well, I just stop. But that doesn’t mean that they will stop caring for me. We have that understanding and everything’s back to normal.

But I still do sometimes feel that the care I show to others is not what I get in return. I’m not on the top of anyone’s list but does that stop me? Nope. I know that caring for the right people will always be the best for me and the people around me. I can’t care for each and everyone and expect them for something in return. That’s not fair either for me or for them. So I’ve learnt that if I am to care for someone, I need to be sure that that person deserves it. As for over-caring, I feel its fine when you do it with the right people. But you shouldn’t for people who don’t deserve it. Why waste your energy on someone who’s going to not appreciate what you do for them? What would you benefit from knowing everything about someone’s life while they think you aren’t needed in their life and are irritated with you?

So what I say is, find the middle to this caring thing. You don’t have to go to the extremes. You don’t have to care about someone who doesn’t feel the same way and you don’t need to care about someone so much that it hurts both you and them. You know why? Because there are people out there who want your care and concern and they are the ones who deserve it. Not someone who will never appreciate what you do for them, or worse, you. And trust me when I say this, you don’t need to waste your time for such people.
Caring for someone, and get the same back is a wonderful feeling. You feel appreciated and loved. So be wise when you do so.
And one more thing, if you know someone who cares about you then treat them right. Don’t neglect them because that hurts them a lot. ¬†Appreciate what you have with you!

I really don’t know if any of this made any sense. I just hope it did as according to me its something really important because I’ve been through this quite a lot and I know it feels.

Bye-bye 2013. Hello Resolutions for 2014!

Its obvious that everyone knows today is New Year’s Eve but some people make it a point to mention about this a trillion times. I have come across countless number of statuses and tweets that are just plain, “Today is New Year’s Eve”. Thank you people for telling me. I don’t have a calender at home you see? You are the only ones ¬†who reminded me, and maybe I owe my life to you because of this.
If that is not a response you wanted for those statuses, then what exactly do you have in mind?
If you do want to make a status about New Year’s Eve, why not make it something good?

This is one of the many things that people around me do every year. While some of the things are good, most of them aren’t very impressive. Especially such statuses and tweets and what-not. But something that kind of bugs me are the resolutions people make. I appreciate good resolutions, but most of the resolutions I come across are just…bad! And sadly, the bad resolutions are the ones that float around the internet, sinking the good ones.

This meme is something my friends and I tell each other 2 weeks before New Year’s Eve every year. The number of posts regarding the resolutions they have made for the new year are countless. Even more than the lame status “Today is New Year’s Eve!”

I get it, you want to try and bring a change in your lifestyle. So you resort to making resolutions for the new year. I’m not against that. I’m just against the ones which you know you will never accomplish and the ones which are just stupid.

I’m a student so most of the resolutions I see around me are to try and perform better academically. And I totally encourage that as a fellow student because its obvious that everyone wants to perform better. But at least think before making a resolution of this sort public. I’ll give you an example for better understanding –

Girl : (On 31st December 2012 types this as her Facebook status) “My new year’s resolution is going to be to top my class in the new academic year. I know I can do it!”

She somehow managed to pass the current year because she din’t study well. So all of us were hoping that she would perform better. And if she is to top, we were going to be extremely happy for her. (We aren’t so considerate all the time.)
After the two term exams, her results weren’t very good. And so obviously she din’t top. But since she made her resolution public, the few people who remembered kept teasing here.

Girl : (Today posted this as her status) “I know I was supposed to top this year, but that din’t happen. So I’ll just top next year. My resolution for 2014!”

Those who din’t remember her previous year’s resolution, now remembered. And then starts the humiliation which she somehow seems to enjoy it.

When you know you can’t achieve what you aim for as a resolution, then why act like you commit to it? More over, why make it public? It really doesn’t seem right.

Then are those type of resolution that people make which don’t even make sense. Like, “I’m gonna stop eating junk food” or “My diet is gonna be successful this time”. You and I both know its not gonna happen. If someone (most probably me) is to bring a pizza near you, you are going to end up eating half of it. So making such resolutions is just a waste of your time and ¬†mine.
(I appreciate the sincere resolution about dieting and junk food though. Its just that there aren’t many sincere ones)

This is one of the most common resolution people make, And that is exactly what happens!!

So here’s wishing all of you a very Happy New Year! And do refrain from making weird resolutions for the next year. If you are to make a resolution, do make it a really good one and I hope you achieve it ūüôā