A Quick Look At The Past Three Years Of My Life

Hey-lo humans who are reading this poorly constructed post!

So as you all know, I disappeared for three years from my blog because of a little thing called life. And for those of you who don’t know – well, now you know!

There are plenty of questions in everyone’s head as to what is it that happened in these past years. Today, as the title reads, I’m going to be addressing just that.

So let’s begin from the start shall we?

I had to move to my hometown as we, well, had to move out. My hometown is this area which neither is a village nor town. I like to call it a town-village. I have no idea how else to describe it. Is this really a term though? Or have I coined a new term? Am I the inventor of a new word? Oh my God…..

I spent seven months there with my grandparents, my aunt and uncle and my younger cousin sister. Also this dog. Can not forget the dog. Ugh.
In the start I had few bits of le internet thanks to my younger brother’s constant whining and crying but I refused to use it largely because I had to save it up for him. Things an elder sibling has to do. Sacrifices and all for the younger one. Pfft.
I only used it to keep in touch with my friends (read : annoy the crap out of them) and things were going okay, until my laptop crashed. Big time.

No internet, no system – living those seven months was a complete torture to sum it up in a nutshell. So many people, no source of entertainment, so many people, constant bugging, so many people.
Yes, I said ‘so many people’ a lot of times. Why do you ask? Well,  imagine a socially awkward girl among a whole bunch of people. Perhaps now you can understand how annoyed I might have been.
And I’m Indian. Add that to the mix. Now imagine the situation. Can’t? I never could either. Until I lived that nightmare. The horror *shudders*

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Seven months later, we moved to a different place. Another crappy place. We didn’t have proper water facility for goodness sake! No internet again but finally as we were staying by ourselves, we got a cable connection for our TV. So I spent time watching a lot of series’ again. Boy oh boy was I so happy!
I’d go around saying, “My name is Barry Allen and I’m the fastest man alive! GO FLASH YESYES!!” My mom would just stare at me in utter disappointment. She’d say, “You’ve started again. Why are my kids not normal?”
Quick forward to the present day – my mom loves The Flash. When I used to watch it on TV she’d go all, “Woah!”, “My God!”, “This is awesome!”, “He’s so fast!” etc. She loves Empire the most though. She was shook by the season 2 finale and started screaming, “WHY DID THEY NOT SHOW WHAT HAPPENED AHEAD? WHO FELL?!” When I went home and binge watched my shows, she asked me to tell her what happened and I showed her the clip. She then proceeded to ask my father why is it that he unsubscribed to english channels. If he hadn’t, then she could see little glimpses as I’d watch. I miss mom..

Back on the topic at the hand, I stayed there for around 9-10 months I believe. It was until my school wasn’t decided. And when my new school was decided and also our flat picked out, we moved out to stay at the place where I currently am residing.

How has my life changed? Well, I ended up having two gap years after my tenth grade. I completed my twelfth year in a span of three months and somehow managed to pass with decent scores! I made new friends who are absolutely amazing and have restored my faith in humanity a little bit
I know, I know. Me? Making friends? When did this miracle happen? Yeah, I’m surprised too. Life is full of surprises now isn’t it?

Currently I’m pursuing my first year in the field of Engineering in a college away from home. Hostel life. BLAAAH.
Finally a step towards achieving my dream has been taken and I couldn’t be happier! Yay!

Situations were horrible and we faced a lot of hardships. Life turned out to be nothing like we had imagined and majority of the time we all were just really upset as to how events were turning out to be. My brother wasn’t the least bit upset though. He just was happy he got to see Power Rangers………………

In short, life wasn’t the slightest bit easy. When we thought things are starting to get better, this storm would knock on our main door and say, “Did you order for a problem?”

Things are finally shaping out better now. I’m proud of all of us for managing to keep ourselves together and come out stronger from the experiences. I know that all of this has made me so much stronger, a level of strong my twelve-year-old self never imagined she would reach.

Things are okay. Life isn’t great but it’s okay. And I’m fine with okay.

On Disappearance and Re-Appearance

Hey-lo people of the internet!

Remember me? No? Well that’s understandable……

I know, I know. I’ve been missing for years. It’s been what three years since I’ve posted maybe?
Three years….woah that is a long, long time!

Well, neither did I go anywhere nor did anything happen to me. This wasn’t a planned leave either. So why did I suddenly disappear from the surface of the internet?
Well, I went to space with dolphins. I also starred in my own movie and even wrote a book. Did you not see me on the news? What?!
Oh how I wish something absolutely fantabulous happened to me which would have explained my disappearance so well.

But no, that is not even remotely close. In fact, everything was the opposite of fantabulous.

The reason why I had to take an unexpected leave of absence from the blogging world – or the internet in short – was because my family and I were literal nomads. We were shifting from one place to another. We weren’t stationary at one place. When our case was such, an internet connection was a privilege. A privilege we didn’t have.

Blah, blah. Excuses, excuses. Pfft.

I still remember oh-so clearly, when I texted my friends living in a country situated a sea across from where I am right now, the minute I had an internet connection. My goodness were they shocked!
It had been a year and a half till that moment. As my disappearance was so sudden, my friends all had jumped to some very, very scary conclusions. They all thought I was dead!

I found it so funny and laughed whereas they all just continued to curse me. I still find it funny. Oops!

All in all, my life has changed drastically in the past few years. And now I’m ready to share all of my experiences – the good and the bad, the new and the old – with all of you. I absolutely loved blogging and now, I’m ready to start again!

After all why share your feelings and experiences with the people around you, when you can do that on the internet with people who have no idea you exist right? Right?!

No matter how hard the circumstances were, we made it through so many trials and that is a victory to celebrate. Which is why I am now back to the blogging world.

I have a lot of new posts on my mind which I’ll be posting shortly. So I won’t be leaving anytime soon, or so I can hope. I would also like to take this opportunity to welcome all the new followers who had decided to follow my tiny little blog even if it wasn’t updated. Thank you for following and sorry for the delay. I shall try my best to entertain everyone (new and old, I mean everyone) who decide to read this with the little musings that stem from this brain of mine.

So, what have you guys been up to? Do fill me in with what is it that I’ve missed till now!

Also

Did you…..

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Source : Google Images

On Completing A Year of Blogging

I was simply surfing the internet to kill time when I thought that maybe I should check upon my blog and maybe read a few posts. When I logged in I was surprised to see that orange color on my header. I was even more shocked to see what followed after I clicked it.

 My blog is now one year old. I completed a year of blogging!!

I am shocked because when I started, I din’t expect to stay on here even for four months, let alone a year. To see now that it’s been a whole, solid year and I still am blogging makes me really, really happy.

I created this blog out of plain curiosity and to just try out something new. The curious part is definitely ingrained in me but trying something new is definitely not me. I don’t like doing things out of comfort zone and taking risks of sorts. When I thought of doing this, I had surprised myself because I never thought I’d put myself through this.
I know this sounds like I’m going to the jungle and have now decided to spend my life with the lion and it’s family at it’s home, but I felt like that I guess? I don’t know what I’m saying. Help maybe required…

A friend of mine had mentioned her blog and while reading it I felt that maybe I should create one too. The thought exited as quickly as it entered my brain. I din’t feel like it’s something I should do, something I’d enjoy. She told me to just give it a go and see what happens and behold, here I am.
I spent like a month deciding what name I should use and I was still deciding whether creating a blog is a good idea or not, that’s how much I think. One day I just said to myself, “This is getting crazy. I’ll just do this now. Like, right now” and went to create this blog. Little did I know that I’d have so much fun!

A year on this blog enabled me to read stories of some amazing people from different parts of the world. Being a part of it all is something really nice. I found people who share some of the same interests as me, some people who are somewhat like me. I learnt that there are people like me who are socially awkward and/or have anxiety – that I’m not alone. If today I feel better it’s because I know that this isn’t something I’m struggling with on my own, that I have people who understand me. This fact is something I find very comforting.

Maybe that’s why they say that the internet is a wonderful place. A year ago I wouldn’t have believed that but now I’m going to nod my head in agreement. The internet is a brilliant place isn’t it?

As for what happened in this one year in the real world? Well nothing great. Except the fact that I traveled the world and jumped off of a cliff and dove into a sea.
Did I make it obvious that I’m lying?
Nothing really changed in this one year in the real world for me. Things are definitely much better than they were but other than I have absolutely nothing. I did get absorbed into the world of internet. Does that count?

I’ve seen people upload their statistics when they have completed a number of years on their blog but I’m not going to do that because it’s really embarrassing…

I’ve made some friends along the way and that is something I din’t expect. Thank you for all the wonderful feedback I’ve gotten and for all the support you’ve given me. It’s all been proven to be very encouraging.

All in all, I’ve had a lot of fun and I look forward to have a lot more fun now!

A Confession About My Conversations

My existence on this blog till now is far longer than I had expected it to be. When I published my first post, I said to myself that if I stayed on this blog for even a month then that would be my greatest accomplishment ever. I said that because I thought I’d get bored of this or maybe I’d just give up.
But I’ve been here for I think around 9 – 10 months and that shocks me. It’s a good shock I’ll say because I haven’t regretted starting a blog and staying on it ever. It’s one of my best decisions and I’m so happy I decided to stay for so long!

So now to celebrate this moment of happiness, I’ve decided that it’s time I let you guys in on a secret of mine. After all, you’ve tolerated me for a while now so maybe I owe this to you. Well, there aren’t many of you but I guess it’s okay for me to think that there are a few right? Right?

Now what I am going to confess to you is something that I’m sure you’re not going to like. If you choose to never read my blog again or start thinking differently of me, then I totally understand.
This ‘thing’ of mine started a few years back. Or at least, that’s when I realized that I do this. So chances are that I could’ve started doing this from a long time back. I don’t really know. What I do know is that this has started to grow now and I find myself doing this at a larger scale than I ever did before.

I want to stop but this has become such an integral part of my life that if I don’t do this even once a day then I’m not myself anymore. It’s affecting my everyday conversations and this bothers me a lot. I can’t talk properly with people if I don’t do this and I’m a lost soul. It has affected me that badly. My mental state is a wreck because of this.

But I don’t care what anyone thinks about me anymore. I’m gonna tell everyone now and I’m not afraid of how I’m gonna be perceived from here after. Okay, I am a little bit scared but I need to push it aside.

Well the thing is that I, …. I talk to myself
*sits in the corner of the room and hides face in shame*

Please don’t look at me like that. I’m really embarrassed of this habit of mine but I can’t seem to stop! And the worst is that I do this everyday. I’m talking to myself right now!

Now you might think that the talking I do is what some people do i.e. have internal discussions with themselves. They are either agreeing with themselves or debating for a whole day about a topic. This is what I do as well, but mine is the next level.
Next level how? Well, I have everyday conversations with myself. How we talk to friends and family is the way I talk to myself and I do this loudly. Not exactly loudly, I keep murmuring but that counts as loud in this context right?

Now I shall provide some pictures so that you understand what exactly it is I’m talking about.

(Note : The girl in the pink shirt is my brain talking. My brain talks loudly and I’m it’s voice, hence the human form. The girl in the green shirt is myself answering to my brain. Again loudly. )

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If you are wondering if I did go out and get cake for this very reason, then yes. Yes I did. And the conversation din’t stop here. It went on and on.

Now that you have fully understood what it is I’ve been telling you all this while, I would suggest you to pick your jaw from the floor. Or if you are laughing then I’d like you to stop. Because this ain’t funny child, this is some serious shit.

Word around the planet Earth is that if one talks to them-self then they are most likely to be a genius. Now this makes sense because I am a genius as I don’t function properly and geniuses never function properly. But I soon realized I’m not a genius as I read an article of this 19 year old boy who scored a perfect score of 2400 in his SATs and now universities like Harvard and Columbia are ASKING him to join them. It’ll take a blood sacrifice for me to get in, and this guy on the other hand has a choice as to which university he wants to go.
He is a true genius. I mean, who even gets perfect scores in their SATs and gets prestigious universities begging you to choose them?

So this proves that I’m a mere mortal who has a problem that only justifies the fact that I’m not sane. You can laugh at me and think this is a joke but I could only wish that this was one.

No one has ever heard me talk to myself though. I guess maybe because I do it mostly when I’m home alone or when no one is around. There have been a few instances when my mom has heard me murmuring but she thought that I was talking to her. Me being the great person I am, I will make sure she thinks that itself because I don’t want her to think she has a weirdo for a daughter. She might actually think I’m just making all this up but now you and I know that this is all part of my reality.

So, this is my confession about this weird little habit of mine. Do you have any sort of weird habits or confessions? A secret perhaps? I’m really good with secrets so your secret will be safe with me. I promise!

Dear 30 year old me

As the title of the posts suggests, today I’ll be writing a letter to the thirty-year old me. I chose to write a letter to my future self because I think about the future a lot. Like, a lot. I don’t know why though. So I thought maybe writing a letter to myself would be a good idea. It could also be a silly idea too. Argh, you decide.

And now brace yourselves. Here comes the letter.

~~x~~

Dear future me,

How are you? Are you good? Wait, why am I asking you questions when I know I can’t know the answers? Silly me. Now answer these questions, and the questions that will follow in your mind. Or just send me another letter in reply to this via time travel. Time travel must have been invented by now right?

You might remember yourself typing this letter as you have a great memory. Wait, your memory is still great right? Don’t tell me your memory power has reduced. Back to the point, you might not remember what was happening while you wrote this letter so let me remind you. I’m mocking the advertisements that are on the television right now. Also, I’m still depressed about the fact that Justin Timberlake is going to have a concert in Abu Dhabi even though its been nearly two weeks to the news. Currently there is no news about him ever coming here for a concert. I don’t even expect him to come here. When I was in U.A.E. , he never came. 😦 Please tell me by now you have gone to his concert. Or any concert of your favourite artists. Have you at least gone to one concert? I hope the answer is yes. If you haven’t yet then um, GO TO A FREAKIN’ CONCERT ALREADY! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Okay don’t be upset, this was just the inner fangirl screaming. Just, try and go to a concert okay?

I hope this random picture I copied from Google Images motivates you to go to a concert.
If you have been to a concert, then I hope you’ve had the time of your life like these strangers seem to be having so.

Now you may not remember why I decided to post this letter on my blog rather than write an actual letter with my pen. The thing is, if I am to actually write a letter then where will keep it? And moreover, how can I assure myself that I won’t misplace it in the next 13 years so that when you do turn 30 you are able to read it? So that’s why I decided to post it online, because the internet is forever and I know that you will come to this blog even if you aren’t blogging because you’d like to remember what kind of a teenager you were. The kind of teenager who is actually very pessimistic but from the past two days is feeling very optimistic for some unknown reason. It’s a refreshing change I must admit, but I don’t know if this will last long. You tell me, am I an optimistic 30 year old?

So, how is life 13 years from now? Is it all that you’ve expected it to be or nothing at all? Maybe somewhere in the middle? I hope while you’re reading this, you’ve achieved want all I want to in the future. What I want right now is to study a lot. I want a really good job and give back to my family. Make them proud and make sure that they don’t need to do anything anymore for me. It’s time for me to repay them back for all their efforts. You might remember all the trouble and problems your family had to face while you were me. So I’m hoping that in the future, I’m able to make everything all right.
But remember this. Don’t beat yourself up if you weren’t able to get into a big college, or if you aren’t working in a huge company. If you may recollect, I don’t have a dream college or a dream job. Which ever college I get into, or whatever company I work for doesn’t matter. I’m going to work hard wherever I am. Have you done that? If you have then you have nothing to worry about. Are the people around you happy? Are you able to give back to mom and dad? If the answer is yes, then you are living the future that I want.

By the way, please don’t tell me you’re married. If by some freak of nature you are married then I hope it is after what all you wanted to achieve career and life wise. Now I’m going to ask you a few questions. (If you aren’t married then feel free to ignore these.)
Did you seriously find a guy worthy enough to marry? Did you actually find a man who ticks all the check boxes on my list? Did this person really agree to tolerate you for an entire lifetime? Is this the man that I see in my dreams? Did my series of dreams come true? If the answer is yes to all of these questions then I’d like you to pinch yourself around a hundred times because this is too good to be true. I’m shocked at this thought itself!!!

The main aim of this letter I guess was to make you realize what actually makes you happy. As much as boxes of chocolates make your day, actual happiness is what I mentioned above. Why am I telling you what really makes you happy? Because I know you’ll whine about every small little thing that you don’t have. (If you have stopped whining, then I applaud you for this change!) As I said, I’m feeling very optimistic and I am giving all sorts of advises to everyone. So this letter is sort of me taking advantage of my streak of optimism and advising  YOU. Because you may need it.

I’m going away now as I should stop now. I hope this letter helped you in some sort of way.

Bye bye,
The 17 year old Keerthi

P.S. Is my brother still good for nothing? If yes then I suggest you to break his PlayStation 20 or any other gaming console he owns. This should teach him lesson. Do make sure you have your own gaming console before you break it. Because you’ll have to suffer as well. Now why would you do that to yourself?

~~x~~

I know that this letter was really, very long and I’m extremely sorry for this. I apologize from the bottom of my heart. *hangs head down in shame*

Now that you have reached the end, I would like to ask you something. Have you ever written a letter to either your elder or younger self? Have you ever thought of it at least?