My Younger, Ignoramus Self

So today’s post is dedicated to my younger self. Well, I’m obviously not that old. But here when I say young, I mean the 8 year old me. I think in internet terms, this qualifies as a ‘throwback’ post.

Recently, I bought a huge pack of Pringles. Considering the facts that I was eating it after an entire year and I love the chips to a very high extent, I was jumping around the house with the packet in my hand. When I then sat down to eat it, my mom laughed and told me, “You do know that when you were small you hated Pringles right? We used to have tons of it in the house, but you’d refuse to even pick one up, let alone try it!”

I was in utter shock when I heard this. I couldn’t believe what she just said.

I hated Pringles. I hated Pringles. I disliked any chips for that matter.

While I was trying to recover by eating chips, I went into flashback mode. And then I realized what a fool I was as a kid. Why you might ask? Because I hated everything. Everything. Well, except for cartoons. Thank God for that.

Since I have a good memory (thanks Dad),  I remember a lot about my years as a kid. Maybe it’s an advantage of having such a memory or a disadvantage, I don’t really know. But I’m kind of stuck with all this useless information. I quite well remember what kind of a kid I was, and it bothers me a lot.

I remember I used to be this really fussy kid who refused to eat anything. All the treats that kids my age would enjoy, were the stuff I happily refused to even try! In my mind, they were all bad and I ignored my parents who always wanted me to try all of this.

My dad used to get me huge boxes of expensive chocolates and sweet treats of various kinds. I’d have loads of junk food and aerated drinks at home because we had family friends who owned all kinds of businesses. And also my parents believed it’d help me gain weight. But I ignored all of these things, which I absolutely love now. I don’t really know why I was such a kid. I don’t think I was in the right mind. I’d like to believe that my brain was being controlled by my nemesis who lives in a parallel universe.

I remember seeing my refrigerator stuffed with a hundred boxes of chocolates and ice-creams. Literally hundreds of them. But I always refused to even try one of them. I would always have my grumpy face on and just run away to my room whenever someone offered me a chocolate. And as a result all the chocolates that I beg my parents now to get me, used to be given away to my relatives who din’t even know what they were.

I remember this uncle of mine, who always used to get me a Snicker bar whenever he visited me. This is what used to happen.

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Everytime!

It wasn’t always related to food you know? This ignorant side of me was prevalent for every single thing. And here comes another story.

When I was six, one of my friends gifted me a story book for my birthday. I really liked the cover of the book. It was really colourful and the pictures were really nice. For the first time I was interested in trying out something new, until I turned to the first page. It was hate at first sight. I just din’t want to read!
Many birthdays passed by, and I got a ton of books. I had a pile of them tucked away at some corner of a shelf. But I never touched even one of it as I never really wanted to read. Every time my mom used to clean the shelves, she would start sneezing really badly when the book shelf came next in line. That is how dusty it was because no one ever touched it.

I really was a weird, ignorant kid who hated everything fun. I din’t even like the word fun. I din’t like talking to anyone nor playing with anyone. I had this one best friend and I would only talk to her. Other than that, I only liked my cartoons and my school. Anything that din’t fit into these ‘interests’ of mine were discarded from my life with a click of my fingers. I never really took a step to at least try something new.

In short, this was me –

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If I could, then I would go back in time and smack my younger self (or defeat my nemesis so that I’d get the control of my brain back in my hands) which maybe will result in me being a better kid and then I would start actually enjoying what I had. I really feel so ashamed of my younger self most of the time.

I’ve obviously drastically changed now. I actually love chocolates so much that it is a significant part of me. The Snickers Bar that I used to hate with all my might is now my favourite chocolate bar. I love reading now and I cannot stand anyone mistreating books. The computer which was once my mortal enemy, is now what I love the most. So much that my career option has it in the center.

Well, right now I can’t do anything about my stupid younger self, but at least I learnt from my mistakes.
What are some things that you disliked about your younger self?

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Relationships And Me

I understand what I type here today is something that you as a reader might not agree on. And that is totally fine. Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion. So if by some freak of nature you ended up on this post and you disagree with me, it is totally okay. Just understand that different people have different opinions and I’m not trying to impose my ideas or thinking on you, so you don’t have to attack me okay?  Are we cool?

Right now you must be thinking, “What is all this drama going on?” Well, today I’m gonna be writing about something that many people of my age really disagree on. In fact, I think I’m one of the very rare ones who actually think like this. So I wanted to make sure that I won’t get attacked by people virtually, like how I do in real life.

I actually din’t even want to do a post on this topic for the very same reason, but so much has being going around me recently that I need an outlet to express my thoughts. And what better place than this little blog of mine?!

I feel so formal right now…..

Okay so now that all the formalities are done (in an informal manner obviously) I’ll get straight to the topic now. And since you read the title, I’m pretty sure you already have an idea of what this post is about.

So my friend recently did this post – When friends get into a relationship? and this post really got me thinking.
Do read the post if you can. And if you do, then I apologize in advance for the little bit of spelling and grammar mistakes she’s made. She’s trying to improve her English right now 🙂

In the post she says that she’s tired of being single. She says she’s tired of being alone and wants a boy in her life. She needs love in her life.
Her being one of my really close friends, I know how she thinks and what she exactly means. So when I read the post, I started remembering a lot of things and then became outraged.

Why is it so important to have a boyfriend? Why is it necessary to have a boy beside you and behind you? What in reality is achieved by all this?

It’s not only her. This is almost everyone around me. Either one person is in a relationship and talking about their ‘love’ for one another loud and clear, or one person is trying to get someone fall in love with them so that they aren’t alone, or in popular terms – single. Then there is me, who couldn’t really be bothered about all this.

Myself being a teenager, I don’t really find the need to have a boyfriend. I don’t want that love. I don’t find the necessity to find a guy to love right now. This other kind of love is something I don’t understand. I actually kind of oppose love a lot. The cheesy poems and quotes that one might find ‘romantic’ are the ones I laugh at, and I also find them weird.

This is me whenever someone says something like this. I was quite shocked when I came across this meme. I was like, “Hey, that’s what I say!”

But the people around me obviously don’t agree and there have been numerous times I’ve been personally attacked because of this.

I really don’t know why, but many people can’t seem to understand the sentence, “I’ve never had a boyfriend”. When ever I say this, the responses are always something along the lines of, “Are you saying you’ve never been in a relationship?” Well smarty pants, that is what I just said. But what frustrates me is the shocked expressions that follow. Its like, they’ve never come across a 17 year old who has never been in a relationship. I don’t really blame them because almost everyone has at least been in one by the time they are my age, but when a person like me pops up, you don’t have to look so stunned, and then start hating me for my opinions.

“The reason you talk like this is because you don’t know how much fun it is to be in a relationship”
“You don’t know what it feels like to be loved by a boy”
“You’re so arrogant, you’ll never be loved”
“If you find a boy who loves you even in the future, I will change my name to something idiotic”
“You will never find love”
“You will always be a loner”
“The reason you talk like this is because you know you’ll never be loved by a boy”
“It really is better if you stay like this. You don’t deserve to be known by the boys. You’ll spoil our name”
“You’re a nerd. What more can we expect from you?”
“It’s a good thing you think like this. As it is no boy would ever go out with you”

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here.  These are the reactions I get when I tell what I have in mind about relationships.

There is a reason why I have never been in a relationship, and it’s because of my mindset. I personally feel that I’m too young to carry the responsibility of another person on my shoulders. I feel that a relationship at this age would serve as a distraction to me. I have priorities right now, and I don’t want to get deviated from them. I have goals I want to achieve in this time frame, and the last thing I want is to stray away from it all just because of one boy.
I don’t judge anyone who is in a relationship at this age. I don’t have that right because it is their life. But just because I have my own opinion which is against the popular one, I’m supposed to get backlash for it? Where is the sense in that?

This kid understands me. Don’t look at me like I committed a crime or something. I just have a different opinion, that’s it!

I personally feel getting into a relationship these days is more like a trend than mutual feelings. Almost each and everyone is getting into one. You’ll hardly find someone single. If they are single, they must have broken up sometime ago. Finding a person like me is very hard, and somehow I found them I believe.

I don’t say ‘I Love You’ a lot. I can’t say it just like that. I can only say it when I mean it from my heart. Typing it is fine, but verbally it’s very, very tough for me. It was only when I was leaving that I said this to my closest friends. So telling ‘I Love You’ to a boy seems like a very strange idea to me. I don’t want to concentrate my life right now on trying to say ‘I Love You’ to some boy. I want to just focus on the things that need more importance in my mind. Why is it so hard to understand?

What all these dimwits tell me, doesn’t affect me at all. Who are they to tell me? But the point of this post was to say I guess that being in a relationship is NOT your life right now. There is a whole life ahead of us for that. So if you are single, then why crib about it?
If you truly want a boy, then go search for one or something like that I suppose. I obviously don’t know how that works. Until then, enjoy life the way it is. Life is more than just some random boys. You don’t need boys to enjoy life. Just ask me 😀