“Everybody Does It”

This phrase is something that is thrown at you when you have conflicting opinions. The opinions that are completely opposite of the popular ones. It has become a part of everyday conversation and debate. While it might be told lightheartedly, what it really shows about the person is something many people fail to realize.

What is the meaning you might ask? Well, it directly gives the impression that because a majority of the people perform the talked about action , it is okay. Since it is popular it immediately means it is correct and the one opposing it is in the wrong. The majority wins. That is why it is in the majority.

If I were to mention the number of times this phrase was used at me, then I’m pretty sure I’d be 40 years old by the time I finish. And I’m not exaggerating here. This really is the case with me. I guess that’s what happens when you have opinions that aren’t always met with a smile.

As a kid, I’ve always had strong opinions about everything. My parents have always told me that I should never be afraid to speak my mind and that is something very strongly instilled in me today. Whatever it is, I surely have an opinion and I won’t be afraid to tell you that. But what happens is that I’m always countered. Why? Well, that’s because my opinions generally don’t agree with the popular ones. I’m the one who opposes almost everything popular today.

It wasn’t until recently when I realized how strongly can this phrase affect you. A friend of mine and I were debating about what teenagers nowadays like to do and how I always oppose it all. She then told me, “Everybody does it. So why do you have a problem?” I was taken aback.

This wasn’t the first time obviously, but somehow what she said stung me for once. I guess because it was about something that I have been strongly opposing since forever. I know you must be wondering what it is. So now let me tell you.

Since I don’t have many friends, I try to keep myself in the social circle by learning about what’s happening around me and all about the people around me too. I see almost everyday what teenagers around me indulge in for ‘fun’ and it bothers me way too much.
I know kids at the age of 14 or 15 who have either smoked all kinds of stuff, who have slept around with various people or consumed all the varieties of alcohol. Worse is that there are 14 year old kids who have done ALL of this and not just one. Until and unless you’re my friend, I really don’t care what anyone does but when this starts becoming so prevalent among the people around you, it’s hard to ignore it. Very hard.

I don’t think it’s okay to be doing any of this at such a young age. I mean, you’re just 14! A 14 year old isn’t mature enough to understand all of this or even know about all of this. And on asking why one would drink or smoke the answer is mostly because someone dumped them. Really? At the age of 13 you are crying because someone dumped you? My biggest concern when I was 13 was what dress I’d wear for my birthday!

If only one or two kids did this, then this post wouldn’t ever be written. But all of this is now some sort of trend for everyone to follow. Gone are the days when studies and friends were the things that bothered one at night. Now what bothers most of the teenagers here is what brand of alcohol is the best to serve for the next party. I can’t really take this anymore.

That figure in red, is me. As I’m not like the rest, I have been thrown out of the popular crowd. And I’m extremely happy being on the other side.

Some teens do understand that what is going on isn’t right. But they still do all of this. Why? Because they don’t want to be that figure in red. They don’t want to be like me. Everyone does all of this without any hesitation. And in the end they feel it is correct. It’s correct because it is the popular action right now. Everybody does it, so why not them? Right?

Not right. Who ever told that what is the popular belief needs to be the appropriate one? What ever happened to thinking on your own and using your sense of judgement to understand what is right or wrong? Just because everybody does it, does it mean it is right? If the answer is yes, then bullying has become incredibly popular now. So does that justify any act of bullying? Is bullying ‘okay’ now? Think about it.

I understand that sometimes we make decisions in haste, but this doesn’t qualify like that. Agreed that this is the age where we can make mistakes and learn from them. But why make mistakes as such that could ruin your entire life? This won’t even qualify as a mistake if you thought about doing it. You are not going to laugh about this 10 years from now. You certainly won’t!

I also know that peer pressure plays an important role in this. But you need to use your brains and understand that it isn’t right. Just because your best friend smokes before writing her math exam doesn’t mean you need to also just so that you still can remain her best friend.
If your group of 50 friends do this, it immediately doesn’t mean that you also need to do it! No one ever needs such friends who cloud your sense of judgement and turn you into a bad person. I know this because I have also been through peer pressure. If I hadn’t said no and distanced myself from them then today I would be doing all the things that I mentioned here. And you have no idea how good I feel because I stopped myself from getting into all this mess. If I can, then anyone can.

I personally don’t hate anyone who does it all, though it might seem like that. I can’t hate someone whom I don’t even know. But all of this has just begun to really upset me. I try hard to forget about all of this, but I can’t. My opinions have isolated me from this generation. But guess what? I’m extremely happy not being a part of what everybody does. I still have a chance to be me.

We are ourselves. You are you, and I am me. Following someone else’s footsteps or performing the popular action won’t make your place in this world easier. Doing something just because ‘everybody’ does it makes us look like we can’t function on our own. Don’t follow the crowd. Instead, stand out from the crowd. It isn’t too late for anyone to change.

Saying “Everybody does it” is not a valid reason for all the wrong actions that are happening. It never will be. Use your brain and do what you feel is right rather than doing what the people around you say is right.

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Relationships And Me

I understand what I type here today is something that you as a reader might not agree on. And that is totally fine. Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion. So if by some freak of nature you ended up on this post and you disagree with me, it is totally okay. Just understand that different people have different opinions and I’m not trying to impose my ideas or thinking on you, so you don’t have to attack me okay?  Are we cool?

Right now you must be thinking, “What is all this drama going on?” Well, today I’m gonna be writing about something that many people of my age really disagree on. In fact, I think I’m one of the very rare ones who actually think like this. So I wanted to make sure that I won’t get attacked by people virtually, like how I do in real life.

I actually din’t even want to do a post on this topic for the very same reason, but so much has being going around me recently that I need an outlet to express my thoughts. And what better place than this little blog of mine?!

I feel so formal right now…..

Okay so now that all the formalities are done (in an informal manner obviously) I’ll get straight to the topic now. And since you read the title, I’m pretty sure you already have an idea of what this post is about.

So my friend recently did this post – When friends get into a relationship? and this post really got me thinking.
Do read the post if you can. And if you do, then I apologize in advance for the little bit of spelling and grammar mistakes she’s made. She’s trying to improve her English right now 🙂

In the post she says that she’s tired of being single. She says she’s tired of being alone and wants a boy in her life. She needs love in her life.
Her being one of my really close friends, I know how she thinks and what she exactly means. So when I read the post, I started remembering a lot of things and then became outraged.

Why is it so important to have a boyfriend? Why is it necessary to have a boy beside you and behind you? What in reality is achieved by all this?

It’s not only her. This is almost everyone around me. Either one person is in a relationship and talking about their ‘love’ for one another loud and clear, or one person is trying to get someone fall in love with them so that they aren’t alone, or in popular terms – single. Then there is me, who couldn’t really be bothered about all this.

Myself being a teenager, I don’t really find the need to have a boyfriend. I don’t want that love. I don’t find the necessity to find a guy to love right now. This other kind of love is something I don’t understand. I actually kind of oppose love a lot. The cheesy poems and quotes that one might find ‘romantic’ are the ones I laugh at, and I also find them weird.

This is me whenever someone says something like this. I was quite shocked when I came across this meme. I was like, “Hey, that’s what I say!”

But the people around me obviously don’t agree and there have been numerous times I’ve been personally attacked because of this.

I really don’t know why, but many people can’t seem to understand the sentence, “I’ve never had a boyfriend”. When ever I say this, the responses are always something along the lines of, “Are you saying you’ve never been in a relationship?” Well smarty pants, that is what I just said. But what frustrates me is the shocked expressions that follow. Its like, they’ve never come across a 17 year old who has never been in a relationship. I don’t really blame them because almost everyone has at least been in one by the time they are my age, but when a person like me pops up, you don’t have to look so stunned, and then start hating me for my opinions.

“The reason you talk like this is because you don’t know how much fun it is to be in a relationship”
“You don’t know what it feels like to be loved by a boy”
“You’re so arrogant, you’ll never be loved”
“If you find a boy who loves you even in the future, I will change my name to something idiotic”
“You will never find love”
“You will always be a loner”
“The reason you talk like this is because you know you’ll never be loved by a boy”
“It really is better if you stay like this. You don’t deserve to be known by the boys. You’ll spoil our name”
“You’re a nerd. What more can we expect from you?”
“It’s a good thing you think like this. As it is no boy would ever go out with you”

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here.  These are the reactions I get when I tell what I have in mind about relationships.

There is a reason why I have never been in a relationship, and it’s because of my mindset. I personally feel that I’m too young to carry the responsibility of another person on my shoulders. I feel that a relationship at this age would serve as a distraction to me. I have priorities right now, and I don’t want to get deviated from them. I have goals I want to achieve in this time frame, and the last thing I want is to stray away from it all just because of one boy.
I don’t judge anyone who is in a relationship at this age. I don’t have that right because it is their life. But just because I have my own opinion which is against the popular one, I’m supposed to get backlash for it? Where is the sense in that?

This kid understands me. Don’t look at me like I committed a crime or something. I just have a different opinion, that’s it!

I personally feel getting into a relationship these days is more like a trend than mutual feelings. Almost each and everyone is getting into one. You’ll hardly find someone single. If they are single, they must have broken up sometime ago. Finding a person like me is very hard, and somehow I found them I believe.

I don’t say ‘I Love You’ a lot. I can’t say it just like that. I can only say it when I mean it from my heart. Typing it is fine, but verbally it’s very, very tough for me. It was only when I was leaving that I said this to my closest friends. So telling ‘I Love You’ to a boy seems like a very strange idea to me. I don’t want to concentrate my life right now on trying to say ‘I Love You’ to some boy. I want to just focus on the things that need more importance in my mind. Why is it so hard to understand?

What all these dimwits tell me, doesn’t affect me at all. Who are they to tell me? But the point of this post was to say I guess that being in a relationship is NOT your life right now. There is a whole life ahead of us for that. So if you are single, then why crib about it?
If you truly want a boy, then go search for one or something like that I suppose. I obviously don’t know how that works. Until then, enjoy life the way it is. Life is more than just some random boys. You don’t need boys to enjoy life. Just ask me 😀