A Bunch Of Words Strung Together, For You

Dear Shefy,

Welcome to a blog post dedicated entirely to you!
I hope that didn’t sound creepy oh my god it did didn’t it?

When our classes got shuffled in the seventh grade and we ended up being in the same class, I remember thinking to myself, “Isn’t this that girl I see roaming around during recess and near the buses?”

One Tenali Rama drama in the ninth grade later, you became close.

From the tiffins we ate in the second period because we both were always hungry, to fighting those bullies in class – in such a short amount of time we gathered so many memories oh my.

During recess everyday – me to myself, “she still roams around? Does this woman not get tired?”

Then I left. My memory of a few years after that are blurry to me. I tend to block bad memories because as you know, I choose to shove my feelings deep down instead of talking about them.
But with everything that was going on, you were always by my side. It felt like you could hear the inner me cry for help and you were there to calm her down.
At the worst of my times you didn’t give me sympathy, you treated me normally.
It seemed like you could see past everything that was happening, the monster I was becoming. I was still the same to you and today if I have my sanity intact it’s because of you.

You’re my personal cheerleader!

 

When I took an unexpected hiatus from the internet and disappeared on you for more than a year, I really thought that it was the end. That things would not go back to how they were.
A part of me believed I had lost you forever.
Why?
Because I felt that me not being around to make you remember I exist would mean that eventually you’d forget. The devil that is my brain made me believe that perhaps you talked to me because I’d make you. That now you probably were thinking, “good riddance” and thanked your stars for me taking a sudden exit from your life.
You probably didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, and that feeling ate me up so much….

When I made my re-appearance, I was firm in my thoughts.
But boy oh boy did things turn from there.

You cursed at me for disappearing on you like that and thought I was dead.
I still laugh at this ūüėā

To see someone that affected by what I had done made not just my day but my life. I know you still hate that I did it to you but if I am being honest, I’m glad I did it. It is only because of that incident did I realize that¬†even if I was a random message that popped on your screen rather than an actual human popping around you in reality, I meant something to you.

Yup, I am that selfish. I am talking about myself when this is supposed to be a post about you.
Like I care….

And it has only been up from there!!

As time passed you became an integral part of my life. I still don’t know how you managed to do that. You always complain about how high I have built the walls around me but somehow you managed to make a you-sized hole in one of them.

You and I, we have nothing in common. We are poles apart. You are so emotional and me, the complete opposite.
But I guess, that’s the beauty of our friendship. Two people with zero common ground being this close is not something anyone can imagine.
At least I didn’t.

Not being around for five years takes a toll on you though. My friends here say how amazing it is that despite the different time zones I still am this close to you. Little do they know that it might look beautiful from the outside, but deep down it eats you up.
It eats me up.

There are times when I feel like I need a shoulder to cry on. Times when I just want to hug you as you go through some of the most unimaginable situations in life.
Not being able to just sit next to you and tell you that everything will be alright is a fact that I learned to live with.
It isn’t a fact that I wanted to learn to live with.

I’m not a people person, you know that. My issues with human beings have been present ever since I can remember.
My entire life I have felt like a doormat. People came, people went.
But you stayed.

I have had this fear ever since a kid, of people leaving me. I don’t know from where it stems but it has always been there.
I think I was ten years old when this fear set in.
All I did was not let people in because I always felt that one fine day they’ll leave.
But you never left.

Even after seeing the absolute mess that I am – the weird little girl with problems bigger than her height and a personality that half the world doesn’t like – you decided to stay.

Three – four years ago I stopped attaching myself to people. Probably why disappearing came easy to me. I was convinced that the fear residing in me is true and I was better off without any people in my life.
What magic did you do to change my mind, woman?

Recent events that have happened triggered the fear I finally had gotten rid of. But it’s because of people like you, I know that even though the fear of people leaving me is present, I need to give people a chance because not everyone will.
And that’s why you’re important to me. You, without even realizing it changed so many views of mine about life and about people.

You restored my faith in humanity. If today I believe in people – it’s because you taught me to.

We think alike once in a blue moon and the only common thing between us is probably our extreme hatred for watermelon, yet we ended up building a friendship so strong that all the adjectives in the English language aren’t enough to describe it.

Your friends ended up being my friends and my friends, yours. Your drama with your friends comes to me as you seek solutions and my whining and ranting about India and our society comes to you.
From sending screenshots of others’ messages to each other and asking, “what do I say now?” or my personal favourite, “look what they said!”, to sending voice-notes detailing the other about our day – we do it all.

For the others reading this as it’s on a public platform and have no idea what is going on, this best friend of mine is getting married and I am getting emotional.
She isn’t dying
I know that’s what you thought. Shush

So bebz, you’re getting married to the love of your life. Your story is something that I’ve read about or seen in movies.
When you told me your story I thought to myself, “um, did she just narrate a movie plot? Do these things happen in real?”

It does. You’re living proof.

You’re a fighter. You’re an inspiration.
You’re story makes me believe in love.
I don’t believe for myself, duh. But I guess I believe that there are people like you out there, the rarest of the rare, who show the world the very fact we have grown up watching on our screens – that true love exists.
A love that sees no boundary, no time and no place. A love so strong that it could fight the most painful struggles and still come out strong.

A love that gets a happy ending.

You getting married is like the end of an era. You’re so willingly giving up almost your entire life to be with the man who won your heart.
It’s not something you see on a daily basis. And I consider myself lucky to be witnessing this.
I consider myself lucky to have you in my life.

I don’t like change.
But this change is something I’m looking forward to as it is going to bring you the happiness that you oh so much deserve.
And seeing you happy is all I want.

I know you’re a materialistic person. And this is far from a gift that you’d like. I made you read even though you hate reading. It’s the most awful gift to give you, actually!
But as of now I can’t give you anything in the material form.
I hope for the time being this is enough because if I decided to tell you how I feel, it means you’re pretty darn special to me.
You’re lucky to have me in your life!

Thank you for always being there for me. I won’t be telling you all the other sappy stuff.
Because I ain’t going anywhere.

This isn’t a “bye” but a new “hello” as you step into this new chapter of your life.

I believe I have made you feel important enough. More than this you don’t deserve so now I stop.

I’ll see you in your messages after this.

Yours,
Kitty

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A Quick Look At The Past Three Years Of My Life

Hey-lo humans who are reading this poorly constructed post!

So as you all know, I disappeared for three years from my blog because of a little thing called life. And for those of you who don’t know – well, now you know!

There are plenty of questions in everyone’s head as to what is it that happened in these past years. Today, as the title reads, I’m going to be addressing just that.

So let’s begin from the start shall we?

I had to move to my hometown as we, well, had to move out. My hometown is this area which neither is a village nor town. I like to call it a town-village. I have no idea how else to describe it. Is this really a term though? Or have I coined a new term? Am I the inventor of a new word? Oh my God…..

I spent seven months there with my grandparents, my aunt and uncle and my younger cousin sister. Also this dog. Can not forget the dog. Ugh.
In the start I had few bits of le internet thanks to my younger brother’s constant whining and crying but I refused to use it largely because I had to save it up for him. Things an elder sibling has to do. Sacrifices and all for the younger one. Pfft.
I only used it to keep in touch with my friends (read : annoy the crap out of them) and things were going okay, until my laptop crashed. Big time.

No internet, no system – living those seven months was a complete torture to sum it up in a nutshell. So many people, no source of entertainment, so many people, constant bugging, so many people.
Yes, I said ‘so many people’ a lot of times. Why do you ask? Well, ¬†imagine a socially awkward girl among a whole bunch of people. Perhaps now you can understand how annoyed I might have been.
And I’m Indian. Add that to the mix. Now imagine the situation. Can’t? I never could either. Until I lived that nightmare. The horror *shudders*

untitled

Seven months later, we moved to a different place. Another crappy place. We didn’t have proper water facility for goodness sake! No internet again but finally as we were staying by ourselves, we got a cable connection for our TV. So I spent time watching a lot of series’ again. Boy oh boy was I so happy!
I’d go around saying, “My name is Barry Allen and I’m the fastest man alive! GO FLASH YESYES!!” My mom would just stare at me in utter disappointment. She’d say, “You’ve started again. Why are my kids not normal?”
Quick forward to the present day – my mom loves The Flash. When I used to watch it on TV she’d go all, “Woah!”, “My God!”, “This is awesome!”, “He’s so fast!” etc. She loves Empire the most though. She was shook by the season 2 finale and started screaming, “WHY DID THEY NOT SHOW WHAT HAPPENED AHEAD? WHO FELL?!” When I went home and binge watched my shows, she asked me to tell her what happened and I showed her the clip. She then proceeded to ask my father why is it that he unsubscribed to english channels. If he hadn’t, then she could see little glimpses as I’d watch. I miss mom..

Back on the topic at the hand, I stayed there for around 9-10 months I believe. It was until my school wasn’t decided. And when my new school was decided and also our flat picked out, we moved out to stay at the place where I currently am residing.

How has my life changed? Well, I ended up having two gap years after my tenth grade. I completed my twelfth year in a span of three months and somehow managed to pass with decent scores! I made new friends who are absolutely amazing and have restored my faith in humanity a little bit
I know, I know. Me? Making friends? When did this miracle happen? Yeah, I’m surprised too. Life is full of surprises now isn’t it?

Currently I’m pursuing my first year in the field of Engineering in a college away from home. Hostel life. BLAAAH.
Finally a step towards achieving my dream has been taken and I couldn’t be happier! Yay!

Situations were horrible and we faced a lot of hardships. Life turned out to be nothing like we had imagined and majority of the time we all were just really upset as to how events were turning out to be. My brother wasn’t the least bit upset though. He just was happy he got to see Power Rangers………………

In short, life wasn’t the slightest bit easy. When we thought things are starting to get better, this storm would knock on our main door and say, “Did you order for a problem?”

Things are finally shaping out better now. I’m proud of all of us for managing to keep ourselves together and come out stronger from the experiences. I know that all of this has made me so much stronger, a level of strong my twelve-year-old self never imagined she would reach.

Things are okay. Life isn’t great but it’s okay. And I’m fine with okay.

The Crap I receive for Engineering

When you are 17 years old and advancing towards the last year of schooling, you’re generally interrogated by the people around you about what it is you plan to do after you finish school. What direction you are heading to is the first question anyone who meets you asks you.
It isn’t any different for me but I somehow feel that my choices are stirring up people other than my family and I.

If I had chosen a path that isn’t generally a preference then I seriously wouldn’t be bothered. But what amazes me is that I get all kinds of shit for choosing to embark on a journey that many, many people choose as well. I have assumptions, arguments and disbelief snowballed towards me almost everyday which to be honest, the 14 year old me din’t expect was coming her way.

With me being Indian, it won’t come to a shock to many people when I say that I have opted to do Computer Engineering after school. That’s because a lot of kids here do that. Why do they do that? Because even though there are thousands of options to choose from, majority of their parents have pressurized their kids to go for this. It’s a field where a lot of jobs are open. That does make a lot of sense considering that we live in a technology – driven world doesn’t it?

Because of the widespread attention engineering has been getting over the past years, many people have started to resent it. The number of trolls and memes made on engineering will take a century to count. Engineering is like this option you choose when you don’t know what you want to do with your life. A lot of people blame parents for this because they are the ones who pushed their kids into this path. They don’t let their kids do what they want with their life and hence we have people with no passion at all in the field. No one wants to learn something new or do something because they enjoy it. They’re just here because their parents forced them, and now they just want to get this over with.

If you have parents like mine, who want you to do something that you love, kids enter fields that are not engineering. They go for what they love and mostly, it isn’t engineering. But then there is me.

You see, my decision of pursuing Computer Engineering is totally mine. Nobody influenced my decision. I’m entering the field because that is where my passion lies. But most of the people I associate with don’t necessarily believe me. Shocked expressions follow with a little bit of assumptions.

“So what are you doing after school? Please don’t say engineering!”

“Uh, I am doing that. What seems to be the problem?”

“Oh my. I feel for you. My parents are also forcing me to do the same. I don’t really know why do they not think about us!”

“No you’ve got me wrong! My parents din’t force me…..”

“So your grandparents did? Or some stubborn uncle?”

“Nobody from my family has forced me to do engineering. I’m doing it by my own will!”

“Seriously? But ….why?”

“Because I want to? I love computers. “

“Are you sure you’re not covering up for your parents actually forcing you? It seems to me that you are.”

“What?! Why would I do that?”

“It’s okay. believe me. We’re here for you. I know your parents mean the world to you and all that, but we all are the same. You don’t have to cover up for them to make them look good. We understand you.”

“I don’t understand what is going on. I think you are misunderstanding me. My parents haven’t forced me to do engineering. They want me to do what ever I want to. I¬†chose¬†this. I want to do this.”

“So wait, your parents are allowing you to do anything you want to?”

“Yes!”

“Are you mad? You have such awesome parents and you’re doing¬†this? Seriously? What is wrong with you? If I were you then I’d do something really different. Something I love. Why in the right mind are you sticking to this? You have a chance to break free. Why are you not doing that?”

If I meet someone and don’t have this conversation with them, then I’ll consider them anything but human. That’s how much I’m used to all of this. I’ve been getting this crap since the day I decided to do this.

I don’t really understand. Is it wrong to want to enter this field? Am I committing some sort of felony by loving this career path? Has the scope for this field really gone that low? Do we really not have people like me out there, who wholeheartedly want to do this?

If this wasn’t enough, you have so many articles that look down at people doing engineering so poorly. They’re treated like dirt. Why? Just because they’re doing something everyone is doing?
So many people say that people who are doing engineering are fools. They won’t go anywhere in life and success will never be theirs because there are thousands of people doing the same as them. You’ll only be stuck with that 8 – 5 job and you’ll never reach the heights. Everyone is only doing this because they want that good salary. It’s all about the money. And if you decide to study ahead? Definitely because you want even more money. You say you love what you’re doing? “You aren’t fooling anybody honey” is the answer one person gave.

I was receiving so much of trash, that at one point last year I just din’t want to go ahead with this. I wanted to just let it go and do something different. Maybe then this would stop, I thought. But the thought itself made me so upset that I knew that no matter what people or some bullshit article tells me, I can’t stop. My heart lies there and there is no way I’m turning back.

I am doing engineering. Computer Engineering to be specific, which I’m very well aware that many people do. But I like to think I’m different from them all because I¬†want¬†to do this. And maybe I will study ahead but not because I have money in my mind. I’ll do it because I¬†want¬†to do it. Everyone may think that I don’t have a life but I do and this is how I choose to live. I may fail but that is¬†my¬†failure and no one has a say on that. Not you or your article.

I don’t look down at people who have been forced to do this. I feel really bad for them and I do hope that they get to do what they want sooner or later. Maybe the jokes made are something they find funny. But I do know that even though people like me aren’t a lot, we don’t find this funny. It hurts us. It hurts me.
I can’t say that what everyone says doesn’t affect me because I’m that kind of person who wants to keep everyone happy and I sometimes tend to care a bit too much about how people perceive me. So all of this does bother me. But this has reached such a peak that I can’t even be bothered to give a damn anymore.

I have a question though. Why do some people write such bitter articles? Let me know if you know the reason.

The Pack Of Humans I Need To Call Family

I think one of the main identities we Indians have all around the world is that we have a huge family. I’d like to blame Bollywood movies and television serials for this. But movies din’t just bring it up you know? There is a certain level of honesty in this fact.

I remember having this one conversation with my school-mates while I was in UAE about how big our families are. While most of my friends were going on and on about their uncountable number of family members, I was just sitting there in astonishment. I then exclaimed, “Gosh you all have such huge families! My family at the most just includes my maternal and paternal side. And they don’t have huge families. I can literally count them!” My friends first laughed thinking that what I said was a joke, but later realized that what I said is true. One girl said that maybe I din’t know my family at all and was kept under the dark about more than half of my family. I laughed really hard at her.

I shouldn’t have laughed.

Living in a foreign country where hardly anyone from my family lives, my parents and a few relatives convinced me that we had a small family. They’d talk only about a few people and when I asked them about any more people they always said, “What more? This is it!”

I always thought that we just had an immediate family. All those distant to distant to distant relatives is something I din’t have and I was so, so happy about it.
Until I came to India to stay and lead a life here.

The first time I got to know that I DO have an extended family is when we came to stay with this uncle of mine. My mom said he was her brother. Now, I know her real brothers and also her cousins. So on asking her what kind of brother he is, she said cousin.
Wait what? I thought she had just one cousin brother! From where did this one pop up? She then told me she has more cousins about whom she never told me about as they weren’t ¬†in touch due to the busy lives we all lead in different countries. So when she finished telling me about them all I thought that this was it.

By now you must have realized that when I think this is it, it isn’t. More was ahead for me.

On one Sunday my mom received a call on her mobile. The person said that he and his brother were coming to visit us at our house. Till I was able to ask her who they were, they magically appeared on our doorstep just minutes after the call! (Family members I tell you. They’ll just come out of nowhere. Ugh)

One of the two brothers came to me and said, “Keerthi! Do you know who we are? I remember the last time I saw you, you used to wear those Gandhiji type glasses and you were so tiny! Look how big you’ve gotten. Still short though. Hahaha!” You yourself told that the last time you saw me I was 6 years old. Now how will I remember you?
I went to the kitchen and told my mom that I have no idea who they are (I could’ve told them directly. But meh, anxiety and all that) and she told me their names. I remember receiving chain e-mails from them a long time ago. Other than that, I don’t really know who they are! They were having a gala time with my mom and dad and I was just like, “Hehe. Very funny.” Or like, “Yes I do remember. Haha!”

While in reality, this was me

Note : The first two people are those two brothers. The character with a moustache is my dad and the lady is my mom.

Note : The first two people are those two brothers. The character with a moustache is my dad and the lady among that group is my mom.

Now every time someone came to visit us, I started counting how many family members I do have till now. But one fine day I couldn’t count because it was waaaay too much! How can there be so many humans in one family?!

I recently went to my home state to visit my grandparents and then comes another shocker. I realized that all the people who lived in our town-village (I say town-village as my place is neither a village nor a town. It’s something in between and I don’t really know what the in-between is called)¬†are all my relatives! My mind was blown away to some distant land.

How are they related? Well, they are some father’s brother’s son-in-law’s nephew’s dog’s best friend’s owner’s grandchild. Yes you read that right. But this is just about one person you know? There are plenty of others who are related to us like that. Normally we won’t consider such people as family, just friends. But no, not in my case. They ARE family and they will be invited for our cat’s wedding. Also when we build a house. Also when we celebrate someone’s pregnancy. Basically every household event, people like these are invited because they are family.

I don’t know how does everyone remember who is who and how they are related. And their names too! What is the secret to this great memory power of theirs? *Calls grandma to know how to get excellent memory*

Getting to know so many family members also means that you basically have every type of human that exists on this planet in your family. And they aren’t always of the good kind which saddens me a lot. My family members include a few gangsters, gossip kings and queens, pranksters, wannabee hipsters, wannabees and sadists. I feel that only I am the human among these bunch of aliens, and I don’t consider myself a human at times so that’s a shocking fact!

If an outsider would see one’s wedding photo album, they’d be astounded to see that there are more photos of family members rather than photos of the couple. And also the fact that if you take that album to my grandpa then he’ll tell you how exactly is every single person there related to us. I don’t think I want to marry because then I’ll have to get married in front of a bunch of people whom I don’t even know! Woah!

Well as much as I can go on ranting about this, I need to accept that these bunch of random strangers are my family. No matter if I don’t know them, I have to say hello to them and welcome the dialogue, “The last time I saw you, you were wearing those Gandhiji type glasses and you were so tiny!” with a smile no matter how pissed that line makes me. I will have to listen to my mom and dad talk about my grandpa’s brother’s neighbor’s son’s neighbor’s daughter’s brother -in-law’s – son’s ¬†fiance’s ex-boyfriend’s sister’s story!

I just have to bear with this drama. I have no other option…

On being called ‘Funny’

We are just 3 days into the new year, and I witnessed a miracle! On the very first day, I was called ‘funny and hilarious’ and on the second day I made a friend of mine cry of laughter! This is nothing short of a miracle for me, and a great start to the New Year.

I know what you’re thinking. “What’s the big deal in being funny?” , “Why is she hyped about such a trivial thing?” or maybe something else but the fact is ¬†that this is a huge thing for me.
Why you ask? Well people, story time starts now.

A long, long time ago (I mean nearly 6-7 years back, not a hundred years ago) I was pushed by my parents to make friends with people who crack jokes a lot and laugh at the smallest of things. This decision wasn’t an easy one to take, but they knew the time has arrived for me to know what laughter is. It was a risk they were taking, letting a serious person like me enter a different world where people engage in laughter rather than talking about sensible stuff. There was the danger of me getting diverted into the wrong direction. But still they took the brave decision and said, “You have to do this Keerthi. You have to.” My mom hugged me tight before letting me go to that wild school bus and told me to be brave and not fear the obstacles that would be placed in my path to this unknown world of laughter and jokes. I was scared, very scared. But I mustered up the little bit of courage I had in me and went to the last seat of the bus and told the species sitting there, “I want to know what laughter is is. Can you please make me laugh?”
Everyone was shocked. No one had ever heard me laughing. And this sudden request was very astounding to them as they felt they have a duty to do. And then a few phrases were spoken on which the entire bus started laughing. I could hear the echoes of laughter in that bus, and then felt that there are a few eyes looking right at me. I din’t know why.
I stared at them back and one girl said, “Why didn’t you laugh?” I said, “Why will I laugh?” That girl then replied, “That was a joke. It was hilarious and you din’t laugh?” I replied very firmly,”Wait a second. That was funny? What are you even saying? That was not at all funny! How could you all laugh at it?”

My exact reaction at that time

The entire bus was silent. No one could believe what I said. The entire morning and the afternoon in the bus was spent by the school’s most funniest girl trying to make me laugh but I din’t even smile.
Another girl then said, “Maybe you are one of those rare people who has a very high sense of humor. I bet you if you tell a joke the entire bus will laugh.” I gave this task a try but failed miserably. From then on, I’ve laughed at only a few jokes which people say were the best of the lot but I’ve never been able to make anyone laugh. Every game where making others laugh was the aim, was a miserable failure and a loss for me. I was called a different specie of the human kind and I believed them.

I laugh at jokes and other funny things more now, maybe because everyone is finally getting their humor levels up to my bar, but I was never successful at making one person laugh. And then came this blog. I was just being myself and a few friends came up and told me, “There are some really hilarious stuff in your blog posts” , or “That post was really funny” or the most common one – “This post cracked me up. It made me laugh!” My reply to all of them was, “WHAAAAT?!”

I din’t believe all this and was convinced that it was some sort of flattery because there is no possibility that the one who is known to dissect jokes to a point where there is no sense in it all, has now made people laugh. It’s not possible! But then came the night of 1st January 2014.

I was chatting with a friend of mine and just told something and she said, ‘OH MY GOD. THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS THING I’VE EVER COME ACROSS! From where did you come up with that?” I said, “It was just my brain. And I din’t intend for it to be funny!” And she said, “This was so funny, I was laughing for five minutes straight!” And I was dumbstruck. Did I really make someone laugh?
And the very same thing happened yesterday where I made another friend of mine laugh till her stomach hurt. Did I really do that?

If this the magic of 2014 or a result of myself watching videos by various Youtubers on YouTube, I really don’t know. But all I do know is that this is a moment of victory for me and I am going to celebrate this moment. Because who knows whether I will ever be able to do this again?

The Good Stuff

My previous posts have been all sad and emotional types. So I thought why not brighten this place up? I did tell you that I’d share with you about all the wonderful and disastrous experiences I’m having here in my native country India, and I know I’ve only been doing justice to the latter part. That’s ’cause nothing good is happening to me. The only thing good here is that I made a friend. Since that’s the only good part, I thought I’d expand on that.

When you step on to a foreign land, everything is obviously new to you. (Notice how I call my own native country foreign land? Because it IS to me. ) For me everything is so new that I feel I am new to myself. Like I don’t know who I am anymore. And in such conditions a friend helps a lot. Especially when she is your first friend in this idiotic place better known as Mumbai. And obviously your first friend will be quite special to you. That too my first friend is so good to me. I mean, she gave me the chocolates that I ate while I was in UAE but wasn’t able to eat here due to their unavailability. I never expected that.

So I thought instead of you hearing me rant about her as I always do about everything else, you can know about her by her ranting about herself! Yes, I conducted an interview with her. Without any further delay, lets get to it now.

Q) So tell us about yourself.

My name is Sakshi and I’m 17 years old.
I’m a big mess and I’m crazy. I’m a big hogger. That comes as a shock seeing me. I blabber a lot. I love pissing people a lot. The look on their faces is priceless. I love to dance. I would love to sing one day, but I’m afraid. I would also like to try for modelling, but I don’t have the height!

Q) What are your hobbies?

Dance and reading books. I love to sing, but not infront of people. They’ll go nuts!

Q) Who are your best friends?

Megha & Sanchita. I thought I’d have more, but nope.

Q) Would you ever start your own blog?

No. Maybe. I don’t know.

Q) Speaking of music, who are your favourite artists?

I don’t have a specific favourite. My favourite keeps changing with every song.
The artists I like are Demi Lovato, Kelly Clarkson, Adam Levine, Justin Timberlake and Ed Sheeran. ¬†That’s it I guess.

Q) Do you have a crush on anyone?

I don’t have a crush on anyone. I’ve never had a crush. Never found a guy with my standards.
If celebrity crushes count then they are Justin Timberlake, Harry Styles and Ashton Kutcher. I have an on and off crush on Jesse McCartney.

Q) Describe your high school life to us.

Studies, a bit of dancing and loads of craziness with friends. I was a really good student, so I was always favoured by my teachers.

Q) Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?

Next 10 years, hmph. That’s a tricky question. Maybe I’ll be doing something where my passion lies, or something which has money in it. But definitely not married.

Q) What’s your passion?

Dance. I dream of dancing infront of a lot of people. Someday I’ll learn all the styles of dance. I wonder when that day will come.

Q) What is your ideal career choice?

I’d love to be a choreographer working somewhere in the US or the UK.

Q) Have you ever had a turning point in life? If yes then what was it?

I did, in 10th grade. When my career choice came up on me, I wanted something else and my dad wanted something else. I din’t listen to him and my relationship with him was quite bitter. From then on I’ve become a rebel. I’ll listen to everyone, but do what I feel like is right. I don’t regret anything I do, its my choice.

Q) If you were given a chance, would you like to change any aspect of your life?

No. I’m happy the way it is. But I’d love to change my parents mindset regarding performing arts because I’d love to do that someday.

Q) Its time for me to hear some praise. Start talking about me now.

Let’s just begin with the fact that you’re awesome. You’re the only person who I feel is quite close to my traits. You share the same birthday as mine, which makes you 25% sexier. You’re a good orator. You don’t use tricky ways to get your work done. I can do it by hook or by crook, but you don’t want to.

Q) You’ve lived your entire childhood in our native country – India. Do you see yourself settled in a foreign country anytime soon? If yes then which country?

Yes I do see myself settled in a foreign country. Which one? That’s tough. I don’t see myself settling in a specific country. Maybe the US or the UK. It depends on my job. Maybe I’ll become a global citizen and roam around everywhere.

Q) What would you like to say to all the people reading this post? Do you have any advice for us?

All I would say is, listen to everyone but do what you feel is right. Not bad or crappy stuff. If its something harmful to you or your identity, then it isn’t right! Not always what you think is right. For example, you might feel like smoking weed is right but it isn’t. What you do should be sane in every sense of the world.

So that’s the end of the interview. I think I covered everything that one would want to know about a person.
Also I’d like to thank Sakshi for her patience while I was making these questions on the spot and also for the interest and enthusiasm she showed while doing the interview.

It Is That Month Of The Year

Today is the first day of September, which means September has arrived.
Applause.

I know you must be wondering what’s the big deal. Well, the big deal is that my birthday is in September. Hence the excitement as I’m turning 17.
Applause.

So I’m one of those people who desperately¬† eagerly waits for their birthday. When the 1st of September arrives I’ll start the countdown to my birthday. Its not that I do anything great for my birthday, its just the very idea that there is one day in a year where people remember you and also the fact that I get loads of chocolates and a huge cake. And I don’t know why I somehow like the idea that I’m growing a year older. Maybe because I get a sense of freedom and independence?

Now this year also shouldn’t be any different, but it is. For the very first time I’m not excited for my birthday. First I thought that maybe because I have realised there is no point in jumping around the house and¬†screaming¬†telling everyone about it, but it isn’t.

The reason is that I already know how my birthday is gonna be, and I don’t like it. I know I’m gonna have the worst birthday I have ever had, and possibly the worst I’ll ever have, Why you may ask? Well let us now go through the reasons.

  • Studies :¬†I know I know this is a common reason, but you must keep in mind that my conditions are way more different than you think. I’m gonna be studying so hard and coping up with the syllabus and according to me that is not the way one should spend their birthday.
  • The Celebration :¬†Now I don’t want a grand celebration, but a little bit is also needed right? And I’m quite positive I won’t get one ’cause with whom am I supposed to celebrate? Family is there. But who else?
  • Friends :¬†Now as per my last post, you definitely know my friend situation. Last year I enjoyed a lot with them. But this year who? I’m still recovering from the ‘losing your friends’ scenario. And here I have only one friend. Maybe I’ll get more in school, but in such short time I don’t think I’ll be making such good friends that I can call them over to eat cake. A cake should be treated with respect. Why would I give a piece of cake to someone whom I hardly know?
  • The Area :¬†Well, my struggles here are quite evident right? In this stupid place, where am I supposed to celebrate? What is even there to celebrate here? Mumbai has made me suffer like anything, and I’m supposed to be happy just because its my birthday? Where’s the sense in that?

I know everything is very negative, but the truth is the truth. I can’t do anything about it. These are some factors that are inevitable. Its not in my hands.

On the day when I’m supposed to feel special, I’m gonna be feeling miserable. Sometimes I wish I don’t want a birthday this year. What is the point of receiving wishes telling me to be happy, while I’m pretty sure I’ll be crying?

This 17th birthday of mine is indeed gonna be bad. Only a miracle can change it around. but miracles don’t work for me. Only time will decide how right or wrong I am. Lets just hope that I’m wrong, but the chances of that happening are very scarce. Well, I’m ready for whatever will come ahead of me. I have to, I have no choice.